meeting filipina's in church?

[Edwin]

We are to be wise as serpents, but harmless as doves. The serpent strikes and is deadly, but the dove will not harm anyone. That is a good point Red, that just because all those girls are in church does not necessarily mean that they would not be beyond taking advantage of a good situation, so let the buyer be ware, or let the fisherman take heed how he is fishing, and what he is fishing for. But, there are lots of fishes in the sea, so you should be able to catch one. Just make sure that you catch what you want, because once you catch that kind of a fish it is kind of hard to throw it back! It doesn't work well! I like to think that young ladies who attend church want to do what is right, and especially in the provinces, and they are more likely to have a conscience about the way they treat people, so I think it is safer to find someone who is a commited Christian, and lives the life of a Christian.

[Gary2310]

Matthew, I tend to agree with what some of the others have said so far, especially the advice about trying to first meet a few friends online prior to you going to the Philippines. Six months, or even a year, in my opinion, isn't really enough time for you to first meet someone and then have enough time to spend with them so that you really get to know them and their family. And, I really do think that it is important for you to know a Filipina's family, as they are a very important part of their life.

If you are like most of the truly SINCERE guys that have looked for love in the Philippines, then you are doing so because you share the belief that the Philippines is home to some of the most beautiful women. And, I'm not just referring to a physical beauty, but rather a beauty that goes beyond the senses (e.g., Strong family values, independence and individuality blended with more traditional nurturing traits). And so, while you might be thinking and hoping for a "happily ever after" life with the one you love, you have be cautious as you move forward.

You must realize that for all its wonder, the Philippines is an impoverished nation. Sadly, it's a place of indigence where starvation is an all too common scenario and is almost an integral part of society. You are a foreigner and whether you like it or not, or whether it's true or not, you will be looked at as someone that is rich. I know this may sound bad, but it's true and you need to be mindful of it. Now, I'm NOT suggesting that all of the Philippine women that are looking to marry a Caucasian guy are doing so strictly because of financial reasons. No, not at all. But, the reality is that there are many women there that are. And, this is somewhat understandable. For many families in the Philippines, guys like you represent their only chance for a better life. You might be OK with that. You might feel, as some others do, that it's OK because it's just part of all Filipina-Foreigner relationships. Personally, I would not want that to be a factor. I would not want any woman to be with me simply because of what I can provide for her family. Oh sure, it's understandable that a woman would want to marry a financially stable provider, but to do so without true feelings of love I think is so very WRONG. And, if you have to question a woman's true feelings, you may never be truly happy, and that is not a good way to go through sharing a life with someone.

There is another side to this, however. The very trait that causes a Filipina to care so much about her family is one of the traits that makes her so special. So, I guess, you have to just tread lightly. Go slow , be aware, and think carefully about some of the realities that exist, because even though one of the things that a woman may like about you is the fact that you can provide a better life for her family, she may still actually have very deep feelings for you. And so, it's very, very, very important NOT to play with woman's heart. As God's gifted child, a woman should ALWAYS be cherished.

[Edwin]

Gary had some true things to say about this subject. I think it is very important to get to know the filipina well, and her family. She has been important to her family, and her family to her, and as you connect with that young lady it is important that you support her in that, and in that way she will feel better about you, and you about her, and her family about you, and you about her family. Family is very important, and she will need to stay connected with her family for her own well being, and it will have an effect on everyone involved, either good or bad, depending on how supportive you are.

Yes, the filipinas are beautiful inside and outside. There very culture makes them unique and precious. They have values that most of the western world has lost. They love and support each other, and they will love you and be devoted to you more than some western lady. They may also display some jealousy because they will not want to share you with a bunch of other women. They will love their family, their mates, and their children. You will be in good hands if you realize what value you have and take care of that! They still have respect for God, and value Him in their lives, and that adds value to them.

Always be cautious as you move forward! Get to know each other slowly and well, and don't ever break the heart of one of them, because God will hold you accountable. Gain an understanding of each other, so that there are fewer misunderstandings later. As I said in the other post it is kind of hard to throw one of them back as you would a fish that you did not want to catch, so make sure you want and will cherish what you get!

The reality is as Gary said that you as a foreigner will be viewed as a rich guy, but like Red said not all foreigners are rich, and that is a reality as well. Well meaning people might try to take advantage of you, and they mean no harm, but lack understanding. You might have to let them know that you are not the rich guy, and that you might not be capable of supporting the whole bunch of them. You need to find out if the young lady is happy just to hve you love her and do the best you are able to do for her and her family, or if she and they are going to expect what you can't deliver. Some want only love, companionship, respect, and faithfulness, but some want more, and maybe you can or maybe you can't deliver, and you have to decide that, and be open about what you can and what you can't do.

Make sure you love each other and will support ecah other during good times and bad times.

Don't ever play with the filipina's heart and cherish her as God intended for you to do!