does being too honest is bad?

[being_meh]

i am wondering if being too honest is bad.. i joined a lot of dating sites online. and all the time i am too honest for who i am really. i even told every person i talked to that im a single mom.. that i have a regular job, etc etc..but why does some thinks im not real at all?that im just after their money and all... for Christ sake, i have a decent regular job here and i can manage to take care of my son all by myself for so long...i never asked money or any help to anyone..i solve my own problems.. YEAh i know its quite difficult to be part of my life coz i already have a son,who happens to have a special needs. is it wrong for me to hope to have a man to share my life and someone who can tap my shoulder saying everything will be fine when tough times comes? my bestfriend?my lifetime companion? everybody needs somebody to love, right? and i know i have so much love to give..or im just having some false hopes again?


thanks
being_meh

[Edwin]

being_meh, you bring up some interesting points. The old saying, "Honesty is the best policy," I think basically is true. We have one case here that happened a few years ago, that a young lady posted her profile and single, but she didn't mention that she had a child. A guy responded to her, and they got something going afterwhich he made a trip to the Philippines to see her. He found out she had a child, and he just went crazy, and he made all kinds of accusations against her, many of them being false. He wanted her banned from jaderune.com and listed as a scammer. Sir Michael sorted it all out and learned that yes, she didn't tell the guy that she had a child, but after sorting it all out, the truth came out that this guy wanted her to meet him in a hotel in one of the large cities in the Philippines to spend time in bed having sex. She did not go along with his plan, and that is what really made him angry. The young lady was advised to include the fact that she had a child in her profile, and everything was fine.

Okay, how honest should you be? Do you tell someone that he/she is obese? Do you tell someone that he/she stinks? Do you tell a person that he/she us ugly? I think a little kindness would avoid giving out that kind of information. There are tactful ways to be honest, give a person the right message without destroying that person and hurting their feelings. So, I say, be honest, but don't hurt their feelings, even if that means not saying what you really think.

being_meh, you are right to tell people who might be interested in you that you have a child, even if that means that they don't express interest in you after that. I hope that I can encourage you by telling you that there should be plenty of people who should be interested in you. They should want to have someone who will love and care for them. They should be happy to have a step child that they can love and care for as well. Every person in the world needs love and care. They should get to know you enough to realize that you want love and attention, and that you are not after their money, or to get to the USA, or whatever else they might think you want, beyond love and affection.

[Edwin]

being_meh, I think finding your special person can be discouraging, and it takes patience. Some find a person who is not true, and that causes all kinds of problems. But, you just have to keep trying, hoping, and praying, and hopefully someone will be attracted to you, and you to that other person for the right reasons.

I am married, so I am on here for a different purpose than some of the other. I enjoy posting and responding to posts. We live a long ways from anywhere, and do not have any close neighbors. We don't even have very many friends because of the distance. Then we, and especially I, had a misunderstanding with our kids who live close to us, and so I am not loved by them, and Carol gets mistreated as well because of that. It has to do with three of our children who do not like each other and we get caught in the middle, which is another long story. Anyway, I enjoy this little community that we have here, and I enjoy being a friend and having friends. I will have to tell you that I am honest with everyone about being married, and because I am honest about that some don't want to be a good friend to me. Some do, and I appreciate the ones who befriend me. I understand though, that the point of many people being on here is that they are looking for a marriage partner, and I can't be that for anyone, for the time anyway, and because of that they are not interested in me, and I can understand that. The only way I would be looking for someone is if I would end up single, and that is not likely to happen soon anyway, but maybe it will happen eventually, and the Lord alone knows. We don't know what is in our future, but the Lord knows.

being_meh, cheer up, keep being honest, hope for the best and keep having faith in God that He will make a way for you where there seems to be no way!

[Smiley]

The truth is better for many reasons.If somebody cannot handle the truth the reality of daily life would soon become unbearable with them.One of the reasons that I prefer to speak the truth is that I don`t have to remember what I said because the truth doesn`t change
As far as being a single Mom goes,there are many who would prefer a woman with a child for many different reasons.After my youngest was born I underwent a vasectomy as I figured 3 kids was enough.I now realize that to want kids is very normal for a young woman.If my future wife was to have a child she would pretty much have to bring one with her. I enjoyed being a Dad and I think that I did a pretty good job at it.
I know that I am not the only guy that feels like this either.

[being_meh]

thanks for the opinion guys. i really appreciate it.you are right,i need to keep on hoping and praying on finding someone to love me and my son.. i will definitely continue being honest no matter what..

everthing happens for a reason , maybe god was just preparing me into something better in the futere. im glad i joined this site.. you guys help me always..


thank you so much for being here always..

Godbless!


Always
being meh

[Gary2310]

being_meh, I think you'll agree that the most important thing in any relationship is being completely honest with your partner. "Truth in advertising" is always the best policy. In this way, a relationship grows on solid ground, or not at all.

And, I think it's important to do a kind of self-analysis...To understand what it is that you really need in your life and how that compares to what you really want in life. I know, it sounds almost elementary, but you'll be very surprised at how much perspective self-analysis will give you on things. Oh sure, everyone wants love. But, I'm talking about a much more deeper understanding. Like, what does love really mean to you? What are you willing to do for a great love? What do you really want and expect out of a love relationship? Answers to questions like these should be on your mind.

You have to realize that you are a different person today than you were 10 years ago, or a few years ago, even just one year ago. You have grown as a person, as a woman, as a mother, as a friend, etc. You're a single mom and you have experiences (good or bad) with other relationships. All of this helps to shape and define you, being_meh. Only YOU are you. All of this makes you the woman that you are. So, be confident in that...Be confident in what you have to offer a well-deserving man, and don't compromise.

And, yes, dating sites are filled with many types. There will be disappointments because that's just the reality of trying to meet someone online. Just be thankful that the ones that may have disappointed you are only make room for the one that is right for you. And, he does exist. And, I don't mean to imply here that there is just a "one and only" for you, as I don't necessarily believe in that.

I know, it's hard to keep in mind, especially when you get frustrated, that there are others out there that are looking for the same thing that you are...It's just a matter of connecting with them. Just keep telling yourself that the more connections you make the more likely it is that you will eventually meet a "Mr. Right". And, there is more than one "Mr. Right", so don't despair:)

[lyrehc]

i am wondering if being too honest is bad.. i joined a lot of dating sites online. and all the time i am too honest for who i am really. i even told every person i talked to that im a single mom.. that i have a regular job, etc etc..but why does some thinks im not real at all?that im just after their money and all... for Christ sake, i have a decent regular job here and i can manage to take care of my son all by myself for so long...i never asked money or any help to anyone..i solve my own problems.. YEAh i know its quite difficult to be part of my life coz i already have a son,who happens to have a special needs. is it wrong for me to hope to have a man to share my life and someone who can tap my shoulder saying everything will be fine when tough times comes? my bestfriend?my lifetime companion? everybody needs somebody to love, right? and i know i have so much love to give..or im just having some false hopes again?


thanks
being_meh

Hey you not the only one single mom here, just think of something if they dont like you dont push your self to them anyway i'm also a single mom and don't expect someone will love me, God has its perfect time for everything. I am being love by all when i was single but when things mess up everything turns up side down but still I thank God He loves me for giving me this kind of trials, I also join other site but things are different here you are being heard being comfort, I dont need a partner anymore and stop my dating site I just need someone who will love me for what i am. Its free to post here your being heard at the same time you will enjoy here..when God moves in just a click you will be heard....

[Edwin]

lyrehc, there are no strings attached here, and I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we love to see you here on this sight! We are glad you are here, and I'm glad you are able to get on this site again. We all have tech problems sometimes, and we can't get where we want, but eventually we get there. lyrehc, you are very right with what you are saying, and you have a very good attitude. In His time God will meet your needs!

[Chas]

i am wondering if being too honest is bad.. i joined a lot of dating sites online. and all the time i am too honest for who i am really. i even told every person i talked to that im a single mom.. that i have a regular job, etc etc..but why does some thinks im not real at all?that im just after their money and all... for Christ sake, i have a decent regular job here and i can manage to take care of my son all by myself for so long...i never asked money or any help to anyone..i solve my own problems.. YEAh i know its quite difficult to be part of my life coz i already have a son,who happens to have a special needs. is it wrong for me to hope to have a man to share my life and someone who can tap my shoulder saying everything will be fine when tough times comes? my bestfriend?my lifetime companion? everybody needs somebody to love, right? and i know i have so much love to give..or im just having some false hopes again?

thanks
being_meh

Hey you not the only one single mom here, just think of something if they dont like you dont push your self to them anyway i'm also a single mom and don't expect someone will love me, God has its perfect time for everything. I am being love by all
when i was single but when things mess up everything turns up side down but still I thank God He loves me for giving me this kind of trials, I also join other site but things are different here you are being heard being comfort, I dont need a partner anymore and stop my dating site I just need someone who will love me for what i am. Its free to post here your being heard at the same time you will enjoy here..when God moves in just a click you will be heard....

The above words really made me think and want to reply. I reread them a number of times and tried to construct an adequate reply. Possibly I failed, but I found the posts very positive which may sound strange.

Two ladies have been abandoned by partners who abdicated there responsibilities. I read it that both ladies have become stronger from their experience and both had to become more confident. I think your kids are lucky to have you and you are no doubt better off without the fathers. I hope you both have support from your respective families. Your kids will no doubt bring you much anxiety and also much joy. I wish you both good luck for the future and may your dreams and wishes come true. Somehow I do not think you need my best wishes, I reckon you are both making your own luck.

I admire your spirit ladies, thank you for posting. Please post some more.

[Rhusette_me]

being_meh, I understand what you feel. I am a single mother too and never did I lie about that thing. Not once, not twice. And I am proud of it. Why? Because not all women are capable of bringing up a child, and you, having a child, is a very special gift from above. You must bear in mind that honesty is a very important ingredient to have a successful relationship. So, I really think you are a brave person by telling everyone that you are a single mom. That makes you a strong person. And do not worry, no one has the right to judge you for being a single mom.

My baby is now 1 year old and 3 months. i am still pregnant when I first joined this forum. And i never regret the day my friend introduce this site to me. I am very welcome here and I can express my self here without worrying that someone might judge me or look down to me. I was able to build my self confidence here.