JOKER'S CORNER

[red]

We went to asian store yesterday after church. I needed some ingredients for Lumpia and Afritada. Me and my husband were talking about DMV and traffic laws. I thought about this joke an american and filipina couple..and shared this to my husband.

Sheriff: Sir may i see your drivers license pls, you got a kid sitting on front seat sir it should be at backseat.
Husband(american): you kidding me, she's my wife!
Sheriff: oh sorry sir, how old is she?

[red]

Monday comes too soon...

[Edwin]

Yes, Red, many of the Filipinas are small and look younger than they are! Many of the Western guys are accused of being with underaged women, when they are with their filipina who is very small and looks very young. Some even have trouble from hate related stuff, kind of like some of the people who have mixed marriages endure. The men are accused of being craddle robbers! Might be fun to rob the craddle, huh? Anyway that is a problem for a western guy and a young filipina who live in the USA. You just have to tell them, "It's none of your business, are you jealous!"hahahahaha

[Edwin]

Red we had an experience like that cat in your cartoon picture a couple of weeks ago! The 4th of July came on Thursday, and our youngest daughter had a supervised visit with her younger daughter, so we had to go be in town, a long day from 6:30 a.m. until 9 p.m., very long day! Anyway we got our days mixed up because of that, and that Thursday seemed like Sunday, because usually supervised visits are on Sunday, and then the lounging around, eating, and running to the stores made it seem like Sunday. Anyway our daughter got her days mixed up as well. What happened to Saturday and Sunday for that cat, huh?

[Edwin]

I saw this joke posted on facebook by a young Christian lady, and I thought you would all enjoy the humor! We have all encountered these things sometime in our life. We were staying with a young couple the last few months that I attended Bible college. My friend that I was riding with to our classed forgot something and decided to return home to get it, and right now I can't even remember what it was. But we walked in the house, and his wife was running around in there bare naked! I was embarrassed, so was she and her husband. They actually Pastored a church down over the hill from where we lived, and Carol stopped in to see them. This was at least 30 years later, and all of our kids, theirs and ours were grown and gone from home. She was still wandering around in the house without any clothes on! Her husband was still doing unwise things, opened the door invited Carol in, and there was his wife coming out of the bedroom in full view with nothing on. She got kind of angry with her husband for inviting Carol into the house when she was bare naked! Enjoy the story!

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home fr...om work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.

[red]

hahahahaha that is a good one sir. Old ladies tend to copy the young ones. lol
I suggest Pinays that are so petite at least change some looks, maybe change the hairstyles instead of just plain straight or if not at least accessorized. I don't look like a kid here but first impression of the people i met here said that i look a lot younger of my age and when i first worked here some young men wanting to court me and i said back off i may not wear the wedding band (coz at work coz we are not allowed then to wear jewelries or wedding bands) i warned them that i am married and gosh way older than them..since then they stay away from me and did not talk to me again ha ha. I am surprised some teen-age here look so matured. And obsessed.

[Edwin]

The lady that kept running around naked and her husband are the ones who got Carol and I together 45 years ago. She has since died of cancer, and her husband remarried a lady who is not really related to Carol, but Carol's cousins are their cousins by a marriage bond, and I am even connected with them through my cousin, who is dead now, but was married to a brother who was married to one of them! Complicated, huh, we are all related, but not really!

That is kind of funny, Red, the younger guys hitting on you! I have not ever worn a wedding band because when we first got married I was working with farm machinery that had pulleys, belts, and chains and sprockets, and I didn't want to have my finger torn off or worse because I was wearing a wedding band. I have been mistaken for being single many times over the years, but I always set them straight!

[Edwin]

I found this on facebook, and I thought it was kind of cute! :

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.... Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from God.

[red]

Common mistakes in Filipinas is pronouncing the English terms...like soup, soap..etc.

A Filipina and American talking over the phone.
Guy: So what u have for dinner?
Pinay: Oh, we have soup(pronounce as soap) for dinner.
Guy: Wow, sounds bubbly.. (:lol: )

[Edwin]

That was very funny, Red, bubbly, sounds like champaign! That made me think of a saying we have here in our country, USA, "You ought to have your mouth washed out with soap," or a Mom or Dad will say to the child, "I will wash your mouth out with soap," and in a few cases they did wash out the kids' mouths with soap. Whenever someone would swear, they would say their "Mouths needed to be washed out wtih soap!"