JOKER'S CORNER

[red]

A mom was making a snack for her son called Kutsinta.

Son: mom, sorry but your kutsinta doesn't taste great.
--------------- L A T E R--------------------------
Son: But Mom, it taste good when it is down the throat!

[Edwin]

When we lived at the head of the lake for ten years, we had our groceries come in on the boat. We would send a grocery order via email, and someone in the store would shop for us, put it on the boat, and we would send them a check for the cost of the groceries. We would order in 8 gallons of milk as I drank lots of it, and Carol helped me drink some as well. We kept our refridgerator turned to a cold setting just above freezing so the milk would last as long as possible. Usually when we ran out of milk we figured it was time to order more groceries. Sometime the last gallon or two began to taste bad before I could finish drinking them. When I knew the milk was going bad I would drink it faster to not waste the milk. When our kids were visiting they asked me about the milk. I told them, "yes, it is good milk." It tasted good to me, but it curdled their coffee, so they said said, "Don't ever trust Dad's judgment on the condition of the milk!" If it was cold,and I drank it fast enough, it tasted good to me anyway, when sometimes is was starting to go bad! We very seldom threw any milk out because I usually drank it anyway!

[red]

I overheard my daughters counting their money saved. They plan to buy a plastic swimming pool. AJ assigned amber to assist her in counting money.

AJ: you are fired amber! this is your last job.
Amber: (upset went hiding beside the ref. She saw the vacuum cleaner so she dragged it towards her sister she was gonna vacuum all the money on the table.)
AJ: mommy, amber is gonna vacuum all the money! oh yeah, you forgot to plug in the vacuum cleaner girl. ( )

[Edwin]

Years ago they had a television program, "Kids say the darndest things." Kids also do the darndest things! I think Art Linkletter had some of those kinds of shows. Little kids' humor is always so clean and so innocent, even when they see what we don't want them to see, like a bull humping a cow, which Carol pointed out to everyone when she was a little girl!

I worked with a guy years ago, who became my good friend, and he was the son in law of a refrigeration shop owner in our little town, who also loved all cars. Anyway this guy told me that he love the hot weather, because the hotter it got, the more clothes the young ladies took off!

I was in the building store getting more concrete blocks a fewe days ago, and this lady helping me told me that she preferred winter, because in her view she could always put on more clothes, but she said that she could only take off so many clothes, and I doubt that she would be taking off too many clothes, but just wishing she could without pushing the laws of descency!

[red]

Ever since school was over last May my daughters been waking up late in the morning. This morning.............

Aj: Amber, we gotta practice wake up early for school.
Amber: Aj, we gotta practice sleep, i am still tired.

[Smiley]

Reading Michaels post on the names of the pilots reminded me of this great old SNL clip about terrorist sightings. I don`t know how he managed to keep a straight face C;heck it out http://youtu.be/4XMr3QO2Sbc

[Edwin]

Your girls are funny, Red! One wants to practice getting up early, and the other wants to practice getting up late! Most of my life up until just a few short years ago I had a very hard time getting up in the morning, and I always wanted to sleep more! I would be your daughter, Red, who would say let's practice sleeping later! I would say sleep while they can, and then they need to get up, then they get up, and their hours will turn around automatically. Years ago I read that to understand how much sleep you need, you time your sleeping when you are on vacation, when there is no pressure, then see how long you sleep without anyone or anything including alarm clocks waking you up, and that is how much sleep you should be getting every night.

My target get up time is 5 a.m., but I wake up anywhere from 4:30 to 6:30 depending on how tired I am. It is kind of funny because this morning I had no intention of waking up with the alarm clock, but for some reason it was set to go off, so at 5:00 a.m. the alarm sounded and I got up! Our days are getting shorter, so at 5 a.m., now it is dark, and the sun is just starting to break the horizon at about 6 a.m. I got out this morning early enough so that it was cool enough, so that my doggie Scooby did not get hot and tired, so we made the entire 6.5 miles. Twice in that last week it was raining in the morning, so I decided, no walking today, then after breakfast I decided, let's go walking, and both times Scooby got hot and tired. The first day we made it 5.5 miles before that happened, but day before yesterday, it got hot enough early, even after the rain that we only make 2.5 miles!

[Edwin]

Yes, I also, Smiley, when I read Sir Michaels post about those names, I thought, "How can professional people be so stupid!" They took something they were told, they were gullible and naive, believing it for the truth, and they repeated it in news stories. I think news people are looking for ratings, and anything that is sensational, they feel like they got a gold nugget, and must profit from it. It is amazing that they did not pick up on those names! But then years ago Dan Rather, a professional news man, producer, reporter, picked up some hearsay, and repeated it like it was the truth. I don't remember the details now, but if I remember correctly it cost him his credibility. It it were not so serious, that report that Sir Michael talked about would have been hilarious, because those words described what was happening to those pilots, the flight crew, and the airplane, as they literally blew it! So sad actually, as it was not only a low blow for the airlines, but also the country leadership took it as a low blow to them, even though they had nothing to do with it, they were taking responsibility.

[Edwin]

When doggies lick us in the face we say the doggie is kissing us, and I think really that is what they are doing, usually. The first time Rand rode with me for just a few feet in the pickup, he chewed my ear all the time I was driving. I think he thought it was kind of dangerous, and he wanted me to know that he loved me incase anything went wrong; he was actually nervous, and maybe in a little bit of fear because he had not done that much riding in a vehicle at that time. Now of course he has ridden so much, that he just sits up tall, and watches where we are going. My doggie Scooby kissed me all the way down the hill to town, when we took him down, because the snow drifting over the top of the fence, and our daughter here was afraid he would get out, and once he started walking out on top the snow he was more apt to get out after than, and he did, usually when the snow was high. Anyway I have a fence now that I think will hold him unless the snow gets deeper than it ever has before, which is possible. Any time I bend down for any reason, I get kissed by Scooby. He also licks my had a lot. I am not offended by it like a lot of people are, because I recognize it as an expression of his love to me.

A young lady was holding a beautiful little white doggie on her lap, and she said that the little doggie kissed her. Now she can't say that "she ain't never been kissed!" It is a joke about a young lady having never been kissed. I have also heard it said that the young lady has never been missed!

[red]

During teacher's visitation, the teacher asked what makes our younger daughter irritable. My husband said " why don't we ask amber that question"
Teacher: Amber, what irritates you?
Amber: it is aj coz we always fight over something
Aj: Amber, i won't be in your classroom, okay?