JOKER'S CORNER

[jadegil6]

Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!'.

The other woman turned to her and said "I know! I heard it snoring!"

[cheryz]

After English Exam

student1: How was the Paper?
student2: It was easy but question 5 confused me :/
Student1: What was the question?
Student2: Question 5 wanted the past tense of THINK,
i thought and though and thought and end up with writing THINKED

[angel]

lol

[cheryz]

SCHOOL LIFE
Most Irritating Moments
>Morning Alarm
Most Difficult Task
> To find socks
Most dreadful Journey
>Way to class
Most lovely Time
>Meeting friends
Most Tragic Moments
>Surprise Test in 1st Period
Most Wonderful News
>Teacher is absent

[jadegil6]

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.

He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued gently feeling her hips, first one side and then the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the women was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.

Suddenly the man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

"Why did you stop darling?" she whispered.

He whispered back, "I found the remote!"

[cheryz]

Boy Looks Into Girl’s Purse
One boy looks into a girl’s purse in a classroom…

She says.. it’s bad manners

he says.. it’s not

She asks… why?

He replies… Because.. members of the same class can access private data!!

[cheryz]

Indian definition of Electricity

Teacher: What is Electricity ?

Little Johny: Electricity is the daughter of Govt. and has extremely loose character,
she goes anytime,
anywhere without telling anyone,
even at midnight !

[jadegil6]

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence.
He’s allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."

[jadegil6]

A despondent woman was walking along the beach when she saw a bottle on the sand. She picked it up and pulled out the cork. Whoosh! A big puff of smoke appeared.

"You have released me from my prison," the genie told her. "To show my thanks, I will grant you three wishes. But take care, for with each wish, your mate will receive double whatever you request."

"Why?" the woman asked. "That bum left me for another woman."

"That is how it is written," replied the genie.

The woman shrugged and then asked for a million dollars. There was a flash of light, and a million dollars appeared at her feet. At the same instant, in a far-off place, her wayward husband looked down to see twice that amount at his feet.

"And your second wish?"

"Genie, I want the world's most expensive diamond necklace." Another flash of light, and the woman was holding the precious treasure. And, in that distant place, her husband was looking for a gem broker to buy his latest bonanza.

"Genie, is it really true that my husband has two million dollars and more jewels that I do, and that he gets double whatever I wish?"

The genie agreed that it was indeed true.

"Okay, genie, I'm ready for my last wish," the woman said. "Scare me half to death."

[cheryz]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''