JOKER'S CORNER

[wayne208]

LOL Great Jokes Everyone .. Thanks

[jadegil6]

An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and then sets the cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering "That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man begins to eat his fries a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man replies that they''re just fine - they''re just used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman says "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old man finishes and was wipes his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks "May I ask what is it you are waiting for?"

The old woman answers... "THE TEETH."

[cheryz]

They so much inlove and sweetness they share the teeth. Hahaha

[jadegil6]

As a blonde crawled out of her wrecked car, the cop on the scene asked her what happened.
The blonde says, "It was the scariest thing! I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to the left. Then there was another tree, and another and another........!"
The cop thought for a minute and then said, "Ma'am, there are only cornfields for the next twenty miles. But you might want to take your air freshener down the next time you drive."
******************

A blonde walked into a gas station and told the manager, "I locked my keys in my car and I was wondering if you had a coat hanger I could stick through the window and unlock the door?"
"Sure", said the manager. "We have a wire that works well for that."
A couple of minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing. He heard another voice.
"No, no, a little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

[Smiley]

Blonde logic

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

[angel]

lol nice to read about jokes.. nice to read this to make your mood fine in a bad mood.

[angel]

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

[angel]

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

[jadegil6]

The plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain.
His co-pilot is a Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and
an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude,
the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot,
leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'
'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'Why not?'
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!'
'No, no', the co-pilot protests,
'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, doesn't matter, you're all alike!'
There's a few minutes of silence.
'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces.
'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.
'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.
'What? That's insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain,
'It was an iceberg!'
Co-pilot replies, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg ,
> nomattah...all same ! ! !"

[jadegil6]

Students in an advanced Biology class
were taking their mid-term exam.

The last question was, 'Name seven
advantages of Mother's Milk.

The question was worth 70 points or none
at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven
advantages. However, he wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.

2) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3) It is always the right temperature.

4) It is inexpensive.

5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck.

Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end
of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
ground where the cat can't get it.