Is it wrong?

[boney594]

Is it wrong to want a wife that does not work outside the home, who stays home and manages the household. I am just curious. This is one of the MAJOR disagreements that I had with my first, and only, wife. And just to clarify, money was not an issue, she didn't need to work.
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to add their thoughts to this.

[crisipicada]

Here in the Philippines majority of the married couple are working for a living.since filipino are use to work whatever to support the family, it is normal that the wife and the husband work together. For me, it is not wrong at all if the wife wont work, and she stays in the house and take care of the husband and the kids. But in Proverbs 31, you can read that the wife is making a living also. Don't bother yourself about that, it is not a big issue at all. It is better to talk to your wife and clarify things. Remember that the golden rule in marriage is :Love your wife/husband as you love yourself.Read Ephesians 5:22-33

[chaychay644]

Is it wrong to want a wife that does not work outside the home, who stays home and manages the household. I am just curious. This is one of the MAJOR disagreements that I had with my first, and only, wife. And just to clarify, money was not an issue, she didn't need to work.
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to add their thoughts to this.

It is not wrong of course..but, issued like that should be discuss before marriage..so that, if the two of you do not agree, you know what to do..sometimes, working doesn't mean that you need more money..but, it is for the satisfaction that the other person involved may feel..

in the case of your wife, maybe she really feel bored staying at home that's why she insist to work..

[purex]

Well, may i ask you, boney: What if your wife wont work because that what you have agreed, what is your ideal wife?

[crisipicada]

somebody said, "You will be a devoted wife and a fantastic wife"! So now i want to ask guys out there what makes a woman fantastic?

[Edwin]

Carol has worked off and on through our married life. She has at times derived a lot of pleasure from working and meeting people while she worked. And then it gave her some money of her own so that she would feel more independent, and she enjoyed that, and I was glad for her. Because of diabetes and failing strength she is no longer able to work. The last two years that she worked she just barely made it. She was so tired at times she had to use both her breaks to take a morning nap just so that she could survive. The last job she had was doing laundry for a resort, bed sheets, pillow cases, towels, etc. Her job was of the nature that she could take a long break if she needed to. She had worked harder jobs before that, and she could no longer handle those, but now her working days are over. She just does as much as she feels like doing, and that is okay.

Our very good friends that I am going to the Philippines with this fall each work. He is a post master, and she works at an assisted living place. They are having a house build in Negros Orient, and a lot of his money goes for that project. She sends her money to her family in the Philippines, and it helps them survive. I don't know her family yet, but she is a very good person, a devout Catholic. She prays a lot and is a real believer. I think they are attending a Methodist church now. They are very happy with that arrangement because they both have an investment, his in the house, and hers in the support of her family in the Philippines.

[crisipicada]

I think there is nothing wrong about a wife will work or not work. Here in the Philippines most of the married couple work together to support the family. Some of my office mates, their wives are working or the one who stay at store or what we call sari-sari store to add income for the family. A 20,000 pesos with family size of 4 is not enough. In fact the surveys says that a filipino must have an income of 110 pesos for food alone just to survive. That means he needed 3,300 pesos for food alone to live in this simple lifestyle. if you have a family size of 4, you needed 13,200 pesos for food alone. What about other expenses like water bill, electricity, education, for hospitalization and so on and so fort. Indeed, life is so difficult expecially having a big one. THink about how you will have a family size and calculate how much each of you are earning today.

[Edwin]

When my wife, Carol, was in her early twenties she worked too hard in a children's home in Arizona. She broke her health and has not been the same since. She has had jobs off and on during our married life, but most of the time the kids were growing up she stayed home with them. Since the kids were grown and gone she has worked at times. She is a people person, so she has felt more encouragement and less depression while working, but at the same time she would get burned out and not want to work even when she could. When we were in the Stehekin Valley I encouraged her to keep working because it made her happy, and that way she had her own money too. The last year we were there working became very difficult for her because of physical deterioration due to diabetes. We have been here for about two years now, and she has rests all she wants, and that is good for her, except I think she should get more exercise. At her stage of life now I don't think she could work if she wanted to. It would be too hard on her. I am capable of working hard, but I have enough projects that need to be accomplished that I may not work, or I might. I have a little over a year before I am the full age to draw social security. Some people draw a reduced amount starting at 62 years old, but I have elected to wait until I am 66 years old to draw it. Before 66 years old if you make too much money the government can take it away, but after 66 years old the government will not take it away no matter how much a person earns, so I am trying to hold out for that.

[frosty]

It is wrong because it is control. Are you demanding that, or just "prefer" it? Wives have the freedom to work if they want.

[Edwin]

I think it all depends on the individuals and the circumstances involved. If the husband makes enough money to support the family and home, and there are young children it is better for the wife not to work, so that the wife can take care of the children herself. A lot of times by the time the baby sitter or daycare is paid the wife doesn't make much money working anyway, and then someone else is raising the children instead of the parents, and it should be their job, not the babysitter or the daycare. If circumstances permit both husband and wife to work that is great, and there is a good feeling of both working towards a common good. Also if it is needed for both to work to have enough money to pay the bills then that is what needs to be done. Sometimes people are happier if they are working, and then that is a consideration. So I think it is up to the couple to decide what to do about this.