Talks of marriage

[frosty]

If a filipina woman starts mentioning marriage after only 2 or3 weeks of online/telephone dating, would you consider it a red flag?

Assume:

She is 25, no kids.. a college graduate with a good full time job. Rents an apartment with 3 other girls who also work... owns her own computer...

He is 27, no kids, not a college graduate and unemployed, no income.

Her only possible motives I can think of are love and wanting children.. assume also that the above details are true...

[crisipicada]

I understand your concern. Marriage is one of the major decisions that a person make because it is a life time commitment based on what the scripture says. It is not for the kids but it is for the mature person. A little span of time to know a person is dangerous. Know the person well, what his or her motive behind and what is really is in his or her heart. For me it takes prayers and observation. i believe that a man or woman who has the best interest for someone he or she loves will be hopeful and positive enough considering looking for a partner in life. He or she desires what is good for her or him. Love takes time to develop into true one. Considering he or she is true christian it is innate in a person that love resides in his or her heart. I still believe that if you love someone it is easy for the woman to love you back (that is my observation).

Now back to your question, it is better to know well the person. In fact the best thing to know who that person is to know his or family background. Or talking about any subject and what his or her opinion about that thing. In that case, you will know the person well. Remember that love waits even how long it could take. That's one you should consider.

[frosty]

Thanks! I forgot one thing... she says she wants to marry in 5 years.

[chaychay644]

If a filipina woman starts mentioning marriage after only 2 or3 weeks of online/telephone dating, would you consider it a red flag?

well, i guess it depends on the conversation she is trying to imply..coz in many cases she may mention marriage as a part of her plan in the future without directly referring to you..but, if she is referring to a marriage between you too, or have the plan to marry you already in that very short period of time..i guess that would be a little impossible..y?..coz two weeks is not enough for her to decide if she really likes you..

in that period of time, it is the getting to know each other stage..perhaps you can asked her not to hurry..

[Tigger82d]

Everyone is different. My fiance and me talked for about a month thru emails and chat almost daily. During this time we talked of marriage but it was just generalized talk, there was no talk of us getting married. I already had a trip planned to the Philippines so I made a side trip to her island. I originally went to go see my dad over there and ended up staying half the time with my dad and the other half with her. By the end of my trip I knew she was the one so I asked for her hand in marriage. Its a short time I know but sometimes things just click. Now we're working on her visa, still talking almost daily, and she's more in my heart than she was before.

[frosty]

Thanks... My dad said if anyone who asks for marriage before even meeting in person, it's a "huge red flag." This was in reference to a show on "wicked attraction"............. he doesn't know my girl and I have planned marriage in 5 years... We've even discussed the rings, I even bought a white gold 2mm wedding band that i had engraved with something in hiligaynon. Although I made it clear i might not propose when we meet (she does not know I bought the ring). Asolutely... we "clicked." At first, we chatted for 6+ hours a day, and we email a few times a day. It's been going for almost 3 monthls now and I feel I know her better than most people I've known in person. Plus, I believe in falling in love fast ansd not wasting time. We're so compatible, I think it might be a mistake to risk waiting years to propose.
I plan to propose in about 25 days, when I'll be visiting her... although the actual marriage will be years away.

[Edwin]

Why wait years and waste all that precious time! Get with it! I'm just kidding of course, but it depends on the person. Carol and I set a record for the shortest romance before marriage, and not seeing each other many times, only maybe 4 or 5 times, and a couple of days ago we celebrated 42 years. A brother and sister of mine had long romances and their marriages didn't last. One of them made 25 years, celebrated then separated and divorced. The other lasted about 10 years or so. I did have an older sister that had a marriaged that lasted until her husband died about about 75 years old. They had a good marriage too.

[frosty]

Ahh. The five years is because I'm a student, and I want to get my masters too... My uncle was with a woman for 9 years before he married her. I remember in psychology, it is proven that we are happier when given fewer choice (don't quote that because I can't remember the details). For example, I got a pair of birkenstocks... but I had so many options: should i get the hunter black leather straps or the birkibuk? Should I get heel taps? Now I'll always wonder if the ones I chose were the best. Besides, I looked it up on wikipedia... we only need .3 seconds to fall in love... well between .3 seconds and 30 seconds.

[Edwin]

Ahh. The five years is because I'm a student, and I want to get my masters too... My uncle was with a woman for 9 years before he married her. I remember in psychology, it is proven that we are happier when given fewer choice (don't quote that because I can't remember the details). For example, I got a pair of birkenstocks... but I had so many options: should i get the hunter black leather straps or the birkibuk? Should I get heel taps? Now I'll always wonder if the ones I chose were the best. Besides, I looked it up on wikipedia... we only need .3 seconds to fall in love... well between .3 seconds and 30 seconds.

I can understand that when you are a student and have goals. That is important.

[justmovenalong]

If ur gone to bring her to the U.S. u only have 90 days to marry or her visa will be revolk so 5 years will be a long and lonely time for both of u.Also before u 2 make such a long time commetment u need to go there and meet her,for in person it may be differant then on line.I also talk to some one for about 6 months then went to meet her ,the chatn was so good but when i met her i relized she was to westernized for what i was hoping to find so i told her i didnt feel it would work.So altho ur plan may sound good at this point it does not seem to be built on reality of the situation.I wish u the best tho