red flags

[leolibby18]

I just spent three weeks in Negros Oriental with my GF. At the time, I was happy (not totally though). She was not a loving girl... she was frigid, she whined and snapped at me.. and complained. She was never the first one to say "I love you," she always said it after I would. Looking back, I become less and less happy with her. And I can no longer overlook one serious Lie: when we met, she told me whe had a previous marriage with a filipino (no kids). There was just a separation, no anullment.. then she told me the marriage had no legal basis (they did not get a liscence). she said she was tricked into getting into bed with her ex... and she was 22 at the time. Based on all she told me, I know the marriage failed because of her being frigid sexually and she does not show affection.

well, I told her and told her to get a certificate of no marriage, so we can proceed with our relationship... she kept putting it off... and finally she never got it.

I did not ask why. but I'm assuming she didn't get it because her marriage was legal.

well, since I have been back, she has pretty much stopped cummunicating with me... but she did hack into my facebook account (she knew my password).. and she changed my password to keep me from logging in... she also logged into my email.

I know it is over, i just want your thoughts...

[eStu]

Hey there... my thoughts... if your summation of events is even close to accurate then I'd agree that for sure it's over.

Can I ask how you met her? (eg, was it through JadeRune?) Had you two met in person previously or was the three week trip that you described a first time meeting?

I've gotta be honest, and I can only form an opinion on what you've shared, but having described that she whined and snapped at you, it doesn't sound like you two got along all that well or had a nice rapport, so at that point the fridigity issue and the lack of reluctance to say 'I love you' is kinda moot isn't it?

I hope I didn't read it wrong... again, only going off what info you provided. Good luck for the future.

[leolibby18]

Hi.

We met on filipinaheart.com (now it's filipinocupid.com) in June, and that three week visit was our first in-person meeting.

[Edwin]

It sounds to me like she might still be interested in you, and I say that because of her hacking into your facebook account, and opening your e-mail, or else she is bitter enough that she wants to get even with you for some reason. If she has no further interest in you I would think that she would not attemp to be doing these things in relation to your communication places.

[eStu]

It sounds to me like she might still be interested in you, and I say that because of her hacking into your facebook account, and opening your e-mail...

Sheeks Edwin, did you check out the Love Languages thread? Seems your love language could be sabotage. Just kidding!!!

I'm goin' with the bitterness thesis. Those are bitter actions, it sounds like neither party particularly enjoyed themselves... so there really isn't anything else for it but to move on. Regarding the account hacking, some people don't deal well with disappointment and can't help but lash out to vent their frustration. I could be wrong but I'd say rack this one up as a learning experience and look to the future. (Any third opinions?)

[Edwin]

It sounds to me like she might still be interested in you, and I say that because of her hacking into your facebook account, and opening your e-mail...

Sheeks Edwin, did you check out the Love Languages thread? Seems your love language could be sabotage. Just kidding!!!

I'm goin' with the bitterness thesis. Those are bitter actions, it sounds like neither party particularly enjoyed themselves... so there really isn't anything else for it but to move on. Regarding the account hacking, some people don't deal well with disappointment and can't help but lash out to vent their frustration. I could be wrong but I'd say rack this one up as a learning experience and look to the future. (Any third opinions?)

She might be bitter because she loved him, but she didn't know how to show that, and now she is bitter because it didn't work out, and maybe she might even want him back? I don't know; I am just trying to see all the angles.

[frosty]

Well, I've given her a lot of chances to make peace and be friends again... but she just doesn't care. I'm concluding she must just have low self esteem and plays games like this to elevate herself. I am convinced that her first marriage did not work because of her. Either she doesn't mean it when she says she loves someone, or she can't conprehend how to show love.

[Edwin]

Well, I've given her a lot of chances to make peace and be friends again... but she just doesn't care. I'm concluding she must just have low self esteem and plays games like this to elevate herself. I am convinced that her first marriage did not work because of her. Either she doesn't mean it when she says she loves someone, or she can't conprehend how to show love.

Are you and Leolibby the same person? In former posts I thought it was Leolibby who had that experience, and now you, Frosty are talking like you were the person with these experiences? I noticed that you two both registered for this forum just days apart. I am just curious? Thanks.

[leolibby18]

Ah, yes we're the same. It seems I registered twice and forgot to clarify it.

[Edwin]

Ah, yes we're the same. It seems I registered twice and forgot to clarify it.

I thought now either these two guys are having the same experience, or else these two names represent the same person. Now the truth is out!

I am sorry for your disappointment, and puzzled why anyone would react that way. It is curious to try to understand where she is coming from huh, and what would drive her to get into your facebook and your e-mail. That would make a person wonder if she was still interested in you, or if she was really mad at you?

I hope you have better luck next time!