do ya want children?

[abufarsi]

I am a father. Never regretted a new child in my home.

But still, now that my children are grown I relish my freedom. I don't have to be home to greet kids after school, not changing diapers, fixing meals for an army Today those meals are prepared when I am hungry not when the kids are. Oh my gosh, and nobody watching cartoons at high volume Sunday morning. Gone are the trips to the store buying shoes ruined playing basketball on pavement in just 2 weeks, same with the cash buying lost jackets, socks, and hats.

Gone are the days when my teenage kids insist that I simply don't understand.

Gone are the days when my kids felt I was God on earth, could do anything I wanted, had enough money to buy all the candy and toys on earth.

Jeeze, I miss my kids.

[crisipicada]

Children are gifts from God... Of course i love children but there are married couples who are not gifted by a children or children. So it depends... If God bless me with children then i am thankful... If not then i would suggest to adopt one

[edeline]

Children are gifts from God... Of course i love children but there are married couples who are not gifted by a children or children. So it depends... If God bless me with children then i am thankful... If not then i would suggest to adopt one

That is right Mae. We all like children but it depends on the situation. We choose our partner not bringing a child or us bringing a child already. it is the product of the love that the two are sharing and having for each other. At least now it is not hard to adopt a kid if in case teh couple can't have a baby.

So many couples are working though they don't have a sibling because teh success of a relationship doesn't rely on that. I and my closest co teacher once discussed about having a child, we both have the same stand that we will both prefer that our partners won't have the capabilty to produce a baby than us. We can take it as long as he will stay with me.

[Andrewm]

Edeline, I am not sure if this is an extension of what you are conveying, but I would add: I think it wise for a newly married couple (we should only be talking here about a man and woman married who are considering children) to spend some time just as a duo before having a newborn or second child also in their home. There is something very key to having a time of being and enjoying being newlyweds.

After all, you might think you know your fiance or bride-to-be prior to the day at the church altar exchanging marriage vows. However, the truth is that you get to know each other really in the months and years to come.

God can work in our lives in so many ways. He does indeed. But, if a couple has the option, I think it best to have a few years as just a tandem before little babies AND all their responsibilities.

Additionally: Yes, adoption opportunities are available. There are so many kids that need a loving, solid Christian values home.

Last: Newlyweds consider very carefully raising a child these days in the Information Age where 9 year olds are already CLAMMORING at full vocal volume for their own cell/mobile phones and better clothes, own room, and own computer. The Internet is 24/7 and on the new cell phones, the pop culture is working like an enemy at war to destroy your family, there are drugs available that kids experiment with that are absolutely shocking, kids sass back at adults with no consequences, and, try as you might, you can never control all aspects of your child/children's lives. Especially in their teen years.

I do believe that child rearing has NEVER been more difficult than today. (It is not getting easier) Thus, I tip my hat to Christian parents who still go forth and multiply, doing their utmost to rear their children in the ways of the Bible.

[edeline]

I didn't mean to have a baby right away after the marriage. I also know that the adjustment stage or marriage is 1 to 3 years and that is very crucial. What I am just trying to emphasize is the thing of having or having not a baby in the family that love doesn't totally depend on it. That love still works though there is an absence of the baby as long as the two are genuine.

My Aunt who was married last year from her point when asked why she is not yet having a baby is because she wants to spend her time solely to her husband and they are still enjoying being with each other without a baby yet and it made me realise there that she has a point. Yes very true that teh kids are very far compared before and they can't be controlled. Lucky to those parents who have brought up their children well and growing good.

[justmovenalong]

To want a child just isn't enuff.Before you should even think of having a child you should ask yourself 2 very important questions the first is the easies (the way my husband/wife acts are they ready to have a child)is he still hanging all day with his buddies,gone to bars,does he work good and provide good? If you answered yes to that then you both need to decided if you can afford a child yet.When your young is the time to build that little nest egg so you can give what is needed for the baby.Having a baby you cant afford to feed is not a good idea.If your old enuff to have a baby then its time to make the decisions of an adult.a lot of people make the choices based on how much you might love your husband/wife on because you think it will make you complete but again if you cant feed your baby or you will end up a single parent then to wait is best.

[abufarsi]

I would disagree on several fronts "just moving".

Children are rewards in themselves. So very rare for a person to actually say that they can't afford a child and actually give that child away. Millions of kids are raised in the Philippines with family incomes under $100 a month. In truth all of us can afford a child but common are those among of us who want to make the decision to make those sacrifices raising a child demands.

We all want to be perfect parents, we all want children who sill lead well adjusted satisfying lives. When in fact, none of us will be perfect parents and all children go through times where they find disappointment in their life's path.

If you have the mindset that your child is just an extension of yourself, then to say you can't afford one would be similar to saying I can't afford my left arm today.

Single parent is not a hopeless case. Sure, things are more difficult with a single income, not as satisfying as having your cake and eating it too. But, if your goal is to be a parent, doing it single is done by millions of people every day.

Wealth is relative, I have seen people in the USA with incomes of $150,000 a year complain that it is too small to pay for the proper care of a child, and I have seen people with incomes less than $50 a month who are just as excited with a new baby as anybody.

If you are a giving, family oriented person, kids are good for you, if you are a self centered person, kids will make your life hell. I look forward to being a parent again, just for the joys of parenting.

[justmovenalong]

I must disagree with you;you talk about kids as if they are for your saifation without thinking of the life they may have to lead.Tell me what is wrong with taking your time before having them to make sure you can give them what they NEED.As for people in the phili.raising kids that make under $100 a month i to know many that do this and it is a never ending cycIe.And in most cases if not for that aunt or cousion that work aboard they would be hungry everyday.i have been there many time and have gave to the little ones what I could and what they may have needed at the time.Ive seen to many moms have to leave and go abroad to pay for them and try to give them a better life and I comend them for that,but I must ask myself why not go abroad first to build your life then have the kids for enjoyment that they all bring us.And just so you know i have 6 kids ranging from 2 years old to 24 why spred so far apart because i fell i was smart.i could give each what was needed with out stressing so i was really able to enjoy them.Please do yourself and your children a favor and build your life before you bring a baby into it

[crisipicada]

If the woman cannot have a baby, what guys will you do? SOme wants children are not.. Will you guys considering adopting?

[abufarsi]

The idea has not come up with me. I like making my own.

I would for sure call a woman having babies already more desirable than on without some. Not just for the children but for the maturity as well. Adopting those kids might be appropriate if citizenship was an issue.