Supporting wife's family, how important?

[Tigger82d]

Youngj never asked for your sympathy or anyone elses for that fact. He was making as statement just as you are. I am divorced from an american woman and she was a whole nother issue than we are talking here. Her parents were divorced but they both had great jobs so we never had to help them but if they would have needed financal support I would have helped because thats how I am. more than once I went without sleep just to help them in other ways so that is basically the same. Everyone has their own opinion but you can still be decent to one another and try to help each other out.

[ronspeers]

Hey Tiger82d.

Huge difference in american and filipino culture and expectations that you need to factor in.

Your american family may once in a while have need for financial help. Your filipinas's family, which will be very large, will ALWAYSs have need for financial help. She will probably have 5-10 brothers and sisters, each with their kids, parents, maybe grandparents, many aunts and uncles, nieces, nephews who will be looking for someone with money when they have a health emergency, need a loan, start a business (most fail) go to school etc etc. You will be kind hearted and give to one. Then how can you reasonably say no to all the others?

Good luck dude, you will need it.

[crisipicada]

base on my experience i have observed while i was in manila way back four years ago, my cousin married to an american guy. the issue about supporting a wife's family is not always true. because never i heard that the guy support to the family of his wife. what i mean is that, it is not necessary okay? it depends on the situation how the guy will have to support the family of his wife. well, maybe because they are educated person and it is not the issue at all. this question is irrelevant. it is up to the guy if he will support or not.

so i am telling you that before you get married you must know the woman what is really in her heart. even you married an american woman or a filipino one, what matters most is your commitment and love for each other. i believe having a good heart is always looking for the best of interest of someone else's not ourselves. i am not married but i have been supporting to my family and my nephews and cousins financially as much as i can. but my prayer is that when i get married at least i have no more lots of responsibilities and i wanted to have a good husband to be with. i want to have someone who will also i can talk and hug when i am sad. my life has been so sad and full of fear and anger because of upbringing of my father. so do not ask question that you know the answer already.

for me, you should always think possitive and do your best as you can to work out your relationship or marriage life. there is always harmony in a listening heart and mind. do not complicate your relationship, okay?

[ronspeers]

"i have been supporting to my family and my nephews and cousins financially as much as i can. but my prayer is that when i get married at least i have no more lots of responsibilities"

Exactly. This is the mindset an american man must be prepared to deal with.

(A) She is supporting her family now. Do you think she will flip a switch and let them starve after she marries a wealthy (by filipino standards) american. Not likely. Expectations for support will increase not decrease.

(B) She says when she get's married she has no more responsibilities. Guess who gets them? Her husband of course.

Guys many of these filipinas are certainly nice, sweet, caring but their families have financial issues that will never stop landing on your doorstep.

[Edwin]

I know that as individuals we cannot take care of the whole world. We can do what we are able to do though, and God will help us to know what we should do, and then do it.

I find some expressions that have the lack of kindness lately on this subject, and that is unfortunate.

Matthew 25:31;When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: 32;And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: 33;And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. 34;Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35;For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36;Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37;Then shall the righeous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee: or thirsty, and gave thee drink: 38; When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in: or naked, and clothed thee: 39;Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee: 40;And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brothren, ye have done it unto me. 41;Then shall he say alo unto lthem on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels; 42;For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: 43;I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in Prison, and ye visited me not 45;Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. 46;And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Jadegil6 expressed the above when he wrote:

I expect to pass through this world but once.
Any good thing, therefore, that I can do,
or any kindness that I can show to any fellow human being,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer nor neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.

Any kindness that I can show to any fellow human being, let me do it now!

[crisipicada]

"i have been supporting to my family and my nephews and cousins financially as much as i can. but my prayer is that when i get married at least i have no more lots of responsibilities"

Exactly. This is the mindset an american man must be prepared to deal with.

(A) She is supporting her family now. Do you think she will flip a switch and let them starve after she marries a wealthy (by filipino standards) american. Not likely. Expectations for support will increase not decrease.

(B) She says when she get's married she has no more responsibilities. Guess who gets them? Her husband of course.

Guys many of these filipinas are certainly nice, sweet, caring but their families have financial issues that will never stop landing on your doorstep.

It feels good to help. At the same time it makes my heart happy to see my relatives eat good food. how about you? do you feel the same? one reason why we are still alive is to help others in any way and in the right way.


say what your heart says and you will be known what kind of person your are? What your heart speak? hmmmmmm thats time you will know who you are... it is you, you can answer.... there are people who are right..... opppsssss right in the wrong way.

[Edwin]

It is more blessed to give than to receive. If you need to receive that is God's blessing too, and then you share with others when you can!

[chaychay644]

It feels good to help. At the same time it makes my heart happy to see my relatives eat good food. how about you? do you feel the same? one reason why we are still alive is to help others in any way and in the right way.


say what your heart says and you will be known what kind of person your are? What your heart speak? hmmmmmm thats time you will know who you are... it is you, you can answer.... there are people who are right..... opppsssss right in the wrong way.

I agree on you crisi..coz for me, even if I'm not rich ill never hesitate to give something for my relatives whether it is food, money or other material things as long as i have..in the sense that its really a nice feeling whenever you can do small things to them that makes them happy..just seeing them smile its really wonderful feeling..and besides God will be happy to see us giving those people who are in need..

And those are one of Filipino values that I'm not sure if other countries have or if they have they are just really selfish..

[Manilaman]

But you are looking for an American husband. If you want an American husband don't you think you should be willing to adopt american customs? if you want to have Filipino customs, which are supporting your extended family, maybe you should find a Filipino husband.

[crisipicada]

manilamadman, are you looking for a filipina to be your wife or not? if not, then why keep on asking about these things? for sure, if you marry a filipina discuss all these things about your concern, okay? do not presume things as in you know everything about filipina. not all filipina have this kind of mind setting to marry a foreigner because of what they can get. in a relationship, think what you can give more than what you can get, then i believe you will be blessed. of course, it is better to find a christian one who loves the Lord because they are more understanding and more patient about you.

if i were a man who has in life, i would love to extend help to my filipina wife if i could have one. of course i will discuss things to help her and her family to be independent and to make a living after extended help. even my late father, he taught me how to be independent, and of course i must be honest i am so dependent to my father because i stay with papa when my parents got separated for almost 14 years. of course he said that i should learn to make a living in the right way and in my own effort because not all the time he is there for me and that was very true. That is why i am thankful to papa though i live with fear because of his military upbringing. so thanks to papa for the help and for the life i have now. he become the most influence in my life interms of making a living.