Crisi, I am not "looking" for a filipina wife because there are literally millions of filipinas looking for an american man. I have millions of filipinas to chose from if I find the situation I like. So it is not necessary for me or any american man to "look" for a filipina only for us to make a choice from the millions of filipinas available and looking for us.
On the other hand it will be difficult for a filipina to find an american husband because there are very few american men who actually marry filipinas. So I suggest any filipina who wants to increase her limited possibility of finding marriage to an american man consider becoming aware of and willing to adopt culture and traditions of an american man rather than expecting him to adopt filipino culture.
Since finances are one of the biggest problems in marriage it will be very good for an american man to know in advance of marriage whether the filipina expects him to contribute support / money to her filipino family. Any filipina who just wants to marry an american THEN discuss the issue of support to her family is either naive about the potential problem or is taking advantage. Neither is a basis for a healthy marriage.
This whole conversation started when the issue of whether most filipinas would be 100% committed to an american husband or would she be committed to support of their filipino family. Sadly I conclude most filipinas would in some way or form insist on support for her filipino family which means she will not be 100% committed to an american husband.
My observation of filipina profiles on jaderune indicate the profiles that describe a filipina's intent to fully commit to and support her potential american husband no matter the circumstances are much more effective (they are "taken" quickly) than the filipina profiles that focus on what the filipina wants from the american man.
Any filipina that does not unequivocally commit to 100% support of an american husband (which includes her willingness to forgo support to her filipino family) I believe would be a very poor choice for a wife.
Most american men do not understand the financial burdens likely to be be laid on them after marrying a filipina. I do. So I advise all american men to FULLY understand these financial issues BEFORE marrying a filipina. Full disclosure. How can that be wrong?
Supporting wife's family, how important?
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by Manilaman » Wed May 11, 2011 10:00 am
- Manilaman
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by abufarsi » Wed May 11, 2011 11:33 am
Crispi,
You have hit the nail on the head.
Ron, (Ron Speers,manilamadman, mcwee, and a host of other names by the same guy), is indeed married to a woman in Angeles city. He has said so repeatedly on other yahoo forums (cebucitytoday, nowmindanao and PLIP). He is still posting foolishness, and then signing in with another nic and agreeing with himself. He denies this stunt, in this forum and all the others, I suggest you judge for yourself.
He repeatedly suggests that American culture is fundamentally in conflict with Filipino culture. And is constantly suggesting that he is doing somebody (unnamed) a favor by pointing this out. When in fact it it appears to me that HIS personal value set is in conflict with both American culture and Filipino culture, or he is simply posting foolishness in order to be argumentative. When living in the Philippines I met hundreds if not thousands of men married to Filipinos, and although things like support to their extended families were a common emotional marital issue, I never met a single one who felt that not giving assistance to family as a rule was morally correct, both in American and Filipino cultures. In every case the issues were, the amount of assistance, whether or not the assistance was in keeping with his own financial responsibilities, or if giving made those who received less likely to try to assist himself. But not the given fact that, it is morally correct to feel compassion for your extended families.
If it is any consolation to you, for feeling offended at being portrayed as a Filipino poor relation to be avoided, very few agreed with him on this thinking he posted in these other forums ether.
Here... Ronnie, let me answer for you... "I am not anybody but Ron"... OK... we have a difference of opinion.
This in no way should be viewed as a personal attack on Ronnie, it is merely a personal opinion of mine, on a topic Ronnie is famous for.
You have hit the nail on the head.
Ron, (Ron Speers,manilamadman, mcwee, and a host of other names by the same guy), is indeed married to a woman in Angeles city. He has said so repeatedly on other yahoo forums (cebucitytoday, nowmindanao and PLIP). He is still posting foolishness, and then signing in with another nic and agreeing with himself. He denies this stunt, in this forum and all the others, I suggest you judge for yourself.
He repeatedly suggests that American culture is fundamentally in conflict with Filipino culture. And is constantly suggesting that he is doing somebody (unnamed) a favor by pointing this out. When in fact it it appears to me that HIS personal value set is in conflict with both American culture and Filipino culture, or he is simply posting foolishness in order to be argumentative. When living in the Philippines I met hundreds if not thousands of men married to Filipinos, and although things like support to their extended families were a common emotional marital issue, I never met a single one who felt that not giving assistance to family as a rule was morally correct, both in American and Filipino cultures. In every case the issues were, the amount of assistance, whether or not the assistance was in keeping with his own financial responsibilities, or if giving made those who received less likely to try to assist himself. But not the given fact that, it is morally correct to feel compassion for your extended families.
If it is any consolation to you, for feeling offended at being portrayed as a Filipino poor relation to be avoided, very few agreed with him on this thinking he posted in these other forums ether.
Here... Ronnie, let me answer for you... "I am not anybody but Ron"... OK... we have a difference of opinion.
This in no way should be viewed as a personal attack on Ronnie, it is merely a personal opinion of mine, on a topic Ronnie is famous for.
- abufarsi
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by Manilaman » Wed May 11, 2011 2:09 pm
Whoa where is the moderator here? How about doing something about these personal attacks? Calling names is certainly not addressing an issue or even having an opinion. Name calling is obviously a personal attack--what is this kindergarten! Is this type of post allowed cause if it is then I just want to know.
Waiting for response from moderator on this!
Waiting for response from moderator on this!
- Manilaman
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by Edwin » Wed May 11, 2011 2:28 pm
abufarsi wrote:Crispi,
You have hit the nail on the head.
Ron, (Ron Speers,manilamadman, mcwee, and a host of other names by the same guy), is indeed married to a woman in Angeles city. He has said so repeatedly on other yahoo forums (cebucitytoday, nowmindanao and PLIP). He is still posting foolishness, and then signing in with another nic and agreeing with himself. He denies this stunt, in this forum and all the others, I suggest you judge for yourself.
He repeatedly suggests that American culture is fundamentally in conflict with Filipino culture. And is constantly suggesting that he is doing somebody (unnamed) a favor by pointing this out. When in fact it it appears to me that HIS personal value set is in conflict with both American culture and Filipino culture, or he is simply posting foolishness in order to be argumentative. When living in the Philippines I met hundreds if not thousands of men married to Filipinos, and although things like support to their extended families were a common emotional marital issue, I never met a single one who felt that not giving assistance to family as a rule was morally correct, both in American and Filipino cultures. In every case the issues were, the amount of assistance, whether or not the assistance was in keeping with his own financial responsibilities, or if giving made those who received less likely to try to assist himself. But not the given fact that, it is morally correct to feel compassion for your extended families.
If it is any consolation to you, for feeling offended at being portrayed as a Filipino poor relation to be avoided, very few agreed with him on this thinking he posted in these other forums ether.
Here... Ronnie, let me answer for you... "I am not anybody but Ron"... OK... we have a difference of opinion.
This in no way should be viewed as a personal attack on Ronnie, it is merely a personal opinion of mine, on a topic Ronnie is famous for.
Crisi always hits the nail on the head! She is as solid a member here as anyone. Her posts always make perfect sense! She sees it God's Way, and that is the right way!
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by Manilaman » Wed May 11, 2011 2:47 pm
Well abufarsi, I will not follow your example of personal attacks but instead address the issues. Hope you will do same in the future.
(1) I am not Ron or McWee so whatever your issues with them please take it up with them.
(2) There are huge differences in Filipino and American cultures which are best identified and addressed BEFORE marriage.
(3) You suggest that the issue of the american husband supporting filipina's family does not turn out to be important. I strongly disagree. This expectation of support to a filipino family is the major cause of friction in american / filipino marriage. Additionally I know many american men who decided not to marry a filipina because they believed her loyalties would always be divided on these financial issues
(4)I am not married to anyone, not american and not filipina.
So it is safe to say I disagree with most everything you said. Your opinion and my opinion aside, pure numbers indicate there are 100s or 1000s times more filipinas looking for american husbands than there are american men looking for filipina wives. So common sense indicates the filipina is the one who make accomodations and adjustments to american culture, especially the issue of finances since finances is always one of the most probable conflicts in all marriages.
Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by abufarsi » Wed May 11, 2011 12:33 pm
Crispi,
You have hit the nail on the head.
Ron, (Ron Speers,manilamadman, mcwee, and a host of other names by the same guy), is indeed married to a woman in Angeles city. He has said so repeatedly on other yahoo forums (cebucitytoday, nowmindanao and PLIP). He is still posting foolishness, and then signing in with another nic and agreeing with himself. He denies this stunt, in this forum and all the others, I suggest you judge for yourself.
He repeatedly suggests that American culture is fundamentally in conflict with Filipino culture. And is constantly suggesting that he is doing somebody (unnamed) a favor by pointing this out. When in fact it it appears to me that HIS personal value set is in conflict with both American culture and Filipino culture, or he is simply posting foolishness in order to be argumentative. When living in the Philippines I met hundreds if not thousands of men married to Filipinos, and although things like support to their extended families were a common emotional marital issue, I never met a single one who felt that not giving assistance to family as a rule was morally correct, both in American and Filipino cultures. In every case the issues were, the amount of assistance, whether or not the assistance was in keeping with his own financial responsibilities, or if giving made those who received less likely to try to assist himself. But not the given fact that, it is morally correct to feel compassion for your extended families.
If it is any consolation to you, for feeling offended at being portrayed as a Filipino poor relation to be avoided, very few agreed with him on this thinking he posted in these other forums ether.
Here... Ronnie, let me answer for you... "I am not anybody but Ron"... OK... we have a difference of opinion.
This in no way should be viewed as a personal attack on Ronnie, it is merely a personal opinion of mine, on a topic Ronnie is famous for.
(1) I am not Ron or McWee so whatever your issues with them please take it up with them.
(2) There are huge differences in Filipino and American cultures which are best identified and addressed BEFORE marriage.
(3) You suggest that the issue of the american husband supporting filipina's family does not turn out to be important. I strongly disagree. This expectation of support to a filipino family is the major cause of friction in american / filipino marriage. Additionally I know many american men who decided not to marry a filipina because they believed her loyalties would always be divided on these financial issues
(4)I am not married to anyone, not american and not filipina.
So it is safe to say I disagree with most everything you said. Your opinion and my opinion aside, pure numbers indicate there are 100s or 1000s times more filipinas looking for american husbands than there are american men looking for filipina wives. So common sense indicates the filipina is the one who make accomodations and adjustments to american culture, especially the issue of finances since finances is always one of the most probable conflicts in all marriages.
Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by abufarsi » Wed May 11, 2011 12:33 pm
Crispi,
You have hit the nail on the head.
Ron, (Ron Speers,manilamadman, mcwee, and a host of other names by the same guy), is indeed married to a woman in Angeles city. He has said so repeatedly on other yahoo forums (cebucitytoday, nowmindanao and PLIP). He is still posting foolishness, and then signing in with another nic and agreeing with himself. He denies this stunt, in this forum and all the others, I suggest you judge for yourself.
He repeatedly suggests that American culture is fundamentally in conflict with Filipino culture. And is constantly suggesting that he is doing somebody (unnamed) a favor by pointing this out. When in fact it it appears to me that HIS personal value set is in conflict with both American culture and Filipino culture, or he is simply posting foolishness in order to be argumentative. When living in the Philippines I met hundreds if not thousands of men married to Filipinos, and although things like support to their extended families were a common emotional marital issue, I never met a single one who felt that not giving assistance to family as a rule was morally correct, both in American and Filipino cultures. In every case the issues were, the amount of assistance, whether or not the assistance was in keeping with his own financial responsibilities, or if giving made those who received less likely to try to assist himself. But not the given fact that, it is morally correct to feel compassion for your extended families.
If it is any consolation to you, for feeling offended at being portrayed as a Filipino poor relation to be avoided, very few agreed with him on this thinking he posted in these other forums ether.
Here... Ronnie, let me answer for you... "I am not anybody but Ron"... OK... we have a difference of opinion.
This in no way should be viewed as a personal attack on Ronnie, it is merely a personal opinion of mine, on a topic Ronnie is famous for.
- Manilaman
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Mon May 09, 2011 5:47 pm
Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by crisipicada » Wed May 11, 2011 4:13 pm
Manilaman wrote:Crisi, I am not "looking" for a filipina wife because there are literally millions of filipinas looking for an american man. I have millions of filipinas to chose from if I find the situation I like. So it is not necessary for me or any american man to "look" for a filipina only for us to make a choice from the millions of filipinas available and looking for us.
On the other hand it will be difficult for a filipina to find an american husband because there are very few american men who actually marry filipinas. So I suggest any filipina who wants to increase her limited possibility of finding marriage to an american man consider becoming aware of and willing to adopt culture and traditions of an american man rather than expecting him to adopt filipino culture.
Since finances are one of the biggest problems in marriage it will be very good for an american man to know in advance of marriage whether the filipina expects him to contribute support / money to her filipino family. Any filipina who just wants to marry an american THEN discuss the issue of support to her family is either naive about the potential problem or is taking advantage. Neither is a basis for a healthy marriage.
This whole conversation started when the issue of whether most filipinas would be 100% committed to an american husband or would she be committed to support of their filipino family. Sadly I conclude most filipinas would in some way or form insist on support for her filipino family which means she will not be 100% committed to an american husband.
My observation of filipina profiles on jaderune indicate the profiles that describe a filipina's intent to fully commit to and support her potential american husband no matter the circumstances are much more effective (they are "taken" quickly) than the filipina profiles that focus on what the filipina wants from the american man.
Any filipina that does not unequivocally commit to 100% support of an american husband (which includes her willingness to forgo support to her filipino family) I believe would be a very poor choice for a wife.
Most american men do not understand the financial burdens likely to be be laid on them after marrying a filipina. I do. So I advise all american men to FULLY understand these financial issues BEFORE marrying a filipina. Full disclosure. How can that be wrong?
I wonder why there are lots of foreigner still looking for a filipina
What do you think, guys?????? 
Because they are looking for a faithful, loving, caring and been there for them! That are the qualities they are looking. HOw about you? Grateful for your explanation. But you are wrong with your idea. No question, even you are a foreigner, men or women, or a filipina, there is always issues about these things. Right? Do not tell me all white men and women can fully said they are 100% committed to their partners?
Okay, statistics shows, lately i learned that more than 50% of marriage in america got divorced? ANd why other men their looking for a filipina? or other asian woman
Because they are tired of their culture and they wanted to find something better So they want to find a loving filipina So, go ahead with your thoughts and ideas and hope that you will be happy and i am happy also with my faithful, godly and sweet american guy who loves the Lord and praying to tie the know very soon. Nothing can separate us from the love of God
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crisipicada - Posts: 2299
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by Manilaman » Wed May 11, 2011 7:07 pm
I'm not saying filipinas don't have some good qualities because they do, but don't try to claim that lots of american men are looking for filipina wives, that is not correct. Take jaderune for example--thousands of filipinas with profiles looking for american husband, maybe less than 100 american men looking for filipina wife? Numbers heavily favor american men who can be choosy. They don't need to settle for a filipina who is not willing to adapt to american culture or is not 100% committed.
"Do not tell me all white men and women can fully said they are 100% committed to their partners? I did not say they were, you prove my point. Why should an american man who has had problems with an american wife that is not 100% committed take on a filipina wife that is not 100% committed? That would be foolish. Americam men need to learn from past mistakes and only take on a filipina that is 100% committed."
"lately i learned that more than 50% of marriage in america got divorced" Yes that is correct but so what? You are trying to compare apples to oranges. Divorce in the Philippines is not legal, so when a marriage in the Philippines fails, the couple just go their separate ways, never divorce (because they can't) just begin living with someone else. Lots of those "separated" filipinas here on jaderune. looking for an american guy.
" i am happy also with my faithful, godly and sweet american guy who loves the Lord and praying to tie the know very soon" Are you sure? How well do you actually know the guy? Have you ever met him in person? How much time have you spent together? Does he know that he is going to need to support your family? Best to clear that up now so he is not shocked and dismayed later. Best wishes and good luck to you.
"Do not tell me all white men and women can fully said they are 100% committed to their partners? I did not say they were, you prove my point. Why should an american man who has had problems with an american wife that is not 100% committed take on a filipina wife that is not 100% committed? That would be foolish. Americam men need to learn from past mistakes and only take on a filipina that is 100% committed."
"lately i learned that more than 50% of marriage in america got divorced" Yes that is correct but so what? You are trying to compare apples to oranges. Divorce in the Philippines is not legal, so when a marriage in the Philippines fails, the couple just go their separate ways, never divorce (because they can't) just begin living with someone else. Lots of those "separated" filipinas here on jaderune. looking for an american guy.
" i am happy also with my faithful, godly and sweet american guy who loves the Lord and praying to tie the know very soon" Are you sure? How well do you actually know the guy? Have you ever met him in person? How much time have you spent together? Does he know that he is going to need to support your family? Best to clear that up now so he is not shocked and dismayed later. Best wishes and good luck to you.
- Manilaman
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by jadegil6 » Wed May 11, 2011 7:27 pm
I will weigh in on the debate. I would appreciate it, abufarsi, if you would refrain from challenging Manilaman on the grounds that he 'may' be the man who you dislike. I ,personally, do not think they are the same person, although they share the same viewpoint on this issue. You know that I respect you, and I appreciate your perspective on life in the PI. I consider you a valued member of the forum. Please allow this member to express his opinions without any personal attacks or assumptions. Thank you, Sir.
Speaking for myself, I will support any extended family that I might have in the future with whatever funds I have. If God puts this person in my path, then that person will get whatever help I can give, whether it is a family member, or a stranger. I have enough faith and trust in the Lord to know that He will provide for me whether I have any money, or not. When I was younger, I thought that having possessions was extremely important, but the older I get, the less I place a high value on things, and the more I place value on people, especially those who are less fortunate than myself, and who are in need. I share my blessings. I thank the Lord for those blessings, and I pray that He will always guide me to be generous, caring, and industrious.
Crisi is right. So many of the men who come to any dating site to communicate with filipinas do so because they are unhappy with the choices they have in their own homelands. Why do people look? Because they are tired of being alone. Many times it comes down to acceptance... I accept your faults, and you accept mine.
Although there are many Americans who use jaderune, there are more men from other countries who ask me for addresses. And not all filipinas are looking for Americans...many marry men from other nations, too.
Speaking for myself, I will support any extended family that I might have in the future with whatever funds I have. If God puts this person in my path, then that person will get whatever help I can give, whether it is a family member, or a stranger. I have enough faith and trust in the Lord to know that He will provide for me whether I have any money, or not. When I was younger, I thought that having possessions was extremely important, but the older I get, the less I place a high value on things, and the more I place value on people, especially those who are less fortunate than myself, and who are in need. I share my blessings. I thank the Lord for those blessings, and I pray that He will always guide me to be generous, caring, and industrious.
Crisi is right. So many of the men who come to any dating site to communicate with filipinas do so because they are unhappy with the choices they have in their own homelands. Why do people look? Because they are tired of being alone. Many times it comes down to acceptance... I accept your faults, and you accept mine.
Although there are many Americans who use jaderune, there are more men from other countries who ask me for addresses. And not all filipinas are looking for Americans...many marry men from other nations, too.
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by crisipicada » Wed May 11, 2011 8:39 pm
Manilaman wrote:I'm not saying filipinas don't have some good qualities because they do, but don't try to claim that lots of american men are looking for filipina wives, that is not correct. Take jaderune for example--thousands of filipinas with profiles looking for american husband, maybe less than 100 american men looking for filipina wife? Numbers heavily favor american men who can be choosy. They don't need to settle for a filipina who is not willing to adapt to american culture or is not 100% committed.
"Do not tell me all white men and women can fully said they are 100% committed to their partners? I did not say they were, you prove my point. Why should an american man who has had problems with an american wife that is not 100% committed take on a filipina wife that is not 100% committed? That would be foolish. Americam men need to learn from past mistakes and only take on a filipina that is 100% committed."
"lately i learned that more than 50% of marriage in america got divorced" Yes that is correct but so what? You are trying to compare apples to oranges. Divorce in the Philippines is not legal, so when a marriage in the Philippines fails, the couple just go their separate ways, never divorce (because they can't) just begin living with someone else. Lots of those "separated" filipinas here on jaderune. looking for an american guy.
" i am happy also with my faithful, godly and sweet american guy who loves the Lord and praying to tie the know very soon" Are you sure? How well do you actually know the guy? Have you ever met him in person? How much time have you spent together? Does he know that he is going to need to support your family? Best to clear that up now so he is not shocked and dismayed later. Best wishes and good luck to you.
that is the difference between praying and giving your heart and future to the Lord. Because you can feel the deep assurance and love from someone out there even you are apart from each other. thank you so much for the wishes and best wishes to you also. i do not need to worry my future because GOD has promised that He has plan for His children, a plan to prosper- not necessarily material one- but peace, love, contentment and good heart
you cannot buy peace with your dollars. you cannot buy love with your millions. think about this things. Nothing can separate us from the love of God
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Re: Supporting wife's family, how important?
by chaychay644 » Thu May 12, 2011 1:16 am
Manilaman wrote:
"Do not tell me all white men and women can fully said they are 100% committed to their partners? I did not say they were, you prove my point. Why should an american man who has had problems with an american wife that is not 100% committed take on a filipina wife that is not 100% committed? That would be foolish. Americam men need to learn from past mistakes and only take on a filipina that is 100% committed."
if an american man marries a filipina that he knows she is not 100% committed then he is very stupid..If there are broken marriages among filipinas and americans its because of some factors..we can't never say that the main reason they separated is because of money..some of it could be because at the end of the day they realize that they are incompatible having different interests, having a different values and the inability to communicate effectively..
Manilaman wrote:"lately i learned that more than 50% of marriage in america got divorced" Yes that is correct but so what? You are trying to compare apples to oranges. Divorce in the Philippines is not legal, so when a marriage in the Philippines fails, the couple just go their separate ways, never divorce (because they can't) just begin living with someone else. Lots of those "separated" filipinas here on jaderune. looking for an american guy."
Why are you going to get married in the first place if are thinking about divorce?..but, yes we can't deny the fact that lots of circumstances may arise and the last resort would be to have a divorce..here in the Philippines, we don't have divorce but we do have a process to nullify the marriage in the process of Annulment..There are broken marriages here in PI that they don't undergo annulment process..because they don't chose to..
Last edited by chaychay644 on Thu May 12, 2011 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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