Marriage confusion

[chaychay644]

Is there such a thing as legally separated? If so, surely that would overcome the adultery issue.

CL

Yea there is, when a married women undergo an annulment process and has been approve by the court...we can say that she is legally separated and likewise that would overcome the adultery issue in the sense that she is no longer married...so don't ever get involved with married women..and if you do, that would mean helping her get rid on her first hubby by means of annulment...

[edeline]

Sorry for that friend of yours who was divorced after three days by a Filipina. I still can't imagine that a girl doesn't develop love during the relationship. Well people have different attitudes.

I agree that anullment is a long process and at the same time needs a lot of money. When a girl is married here in the Philippines, marriage is there though separated but the papers are intact. I will take three years at most before it will be cleared. It needs time, money, effort and patience

If you want an easier one, better to choose a widow but love can't be controlled. You have your ideal girl and age range that you want.

Yes that was a brilliant suggestion not to give any hint about living in your place right away. Takes time and see if thinsg are on the right track. Marriage is easy but what responsibilities that lie ahead of that is not easy so better to be careful and observant.

Luke,

Yes it is virtually impossible to get a woman who had been married in the Philippines, to the USA legally and quickly. Annulments are available, but near impossible to get completed on any time scale that I would think relevant to your situation.
There is some talk of allowing divorce soon.
If you are rich you could get her into the USA by giving her $50,000, she then could get a visa as a tourist. Then she could divorce her husband in the USA. Make sure your state allows no fault divorces, and you serve her husband before she leaves. While in the USA she could also apply for a change of status. Some states require a 6 month stay to be a resident, some only 3 months, you have to be a resident to file for divorce in any state. There are a host of visa types available, read the US immigration page and see if you can make her qualify for one.
Have you considered living in the Philippines? I have lived there for years (before) and found many parts of the experience very rewarding. So I assume that when they say "separated" they are looking for a retired guy who could move to the Philippines and enjoy a new wife and a new country.
You suggest that a woman who is 35+ is somehow a benefit, I would not agree after meeting Filipinas and living there. For sure I would not go with a 17 year old but if I were in your position, 26 would be OK. It is about what people see Marriage as culturally, or to say, what she means when she says it, and what you mean when you say it, do not reflect exactly the same thinking as to the rolls, motivations and responsibilities of persons involved.
Your post implies to me that you have an idea that you will import a wife. I strongly caution you that this thinking might get you the wrong kind of wife. For sure during courtship I would suggest you never talk of immigration, as every Filipino knows that divorce is easy and can't be contested. Dave, a casual friend of mine, married Lusviminda Paro, and she divorced him in 3 days! After that she applied for and got federal aid, which, Dave had to compensate the federal government for. Dave bragged to me that not only was he "in love" but that he had won the national lotto in wife selection.
There is an awful lot of racism in the Philippines and few there would pity you for being such a fool, and the same thinking goes for the women who took unfair advantage of you. In other words "you are white (rich) and you can afford it", and I am brown (poor) and need a chance in life. Further, the older they are the more ingrained the stereotype of "foreigner", and the more likely she will assume many things about you that fit her mental racial profile, with an inability to see you as you are.

[crisipicada]

better to know about the background of the person so that you will know him more. But it is advantage to look for a committed christian

[justmovenalong]

If she married give it up and just be friends you cant get her out of there and if you try to live there with her you can be sent to jail.Im sorry but thats the way it is.Theres no hope unless your rich and even then you have to have someone to pay off

[Manilaman]

If she married give it up and just be friends you cant get her out of there and if you try to live there with her you can be sent to jail.Im sorry but thats the way it is.Theres no hope unless your rich and even then you have to have someone to pay off

I agree. Why even "be friends" with a separated filipina. What would be the point? You stand the possibility of being sucked up into her life drama, wasting your time and money. Millions of legally available filipinas. Most western men just can not understand how many beautiful filipinas are available to them because they have been conditioned by scarcity in the US, a guy who is used to being ignored by women in the US will have many, many possibilities in the Philippines. Hard to believe but true. But beware of lots of hidden costs when dealing with filipinas--especially beware future costs that as an american guy you will not be aware of. Thousands for trips back and forth to Philippines, her large poor needy family will almost certainly look to you for financial needs, just kicking in for birthday parties, christmas presents, wedding presents etc for her large family will add up fast.

[edeline]

Yes true there are many Filipinas available but hard to find the sincere ones. It was just funny when you mentioned about the scarcity but I guess that is true. I have heard that also from a western man saying that he is invisible in his place but here he is not. He is the most handsome guy I ever found. I told him there are so many Filipinas who will be interested with him here.

[abufarsi]

[quote]better to know about the background of the person so that you will know him more. But it is advantage to look for a committed christian[/quote

Crispi,

This is very common thinking, and common advise. But if you are a foreigner, who does not know the local language, who does not have a list of friends or relatives who will answer honestly, how on earth can you get a background?

As to selecting a committed Christian, only God can know the truth in a persons heart. I have seen satin on both sides of the pulpit. I have seen those who really needed forgiveness, go to church to get it, but been unable to truly repent.

[Edwin]

better to know about the background of the person so that you will know him more. But it is advantage to look for a committed christian

This is very good, Crisi!

[edeline]

better to know about the background of the person so that you will know him more. But it is advantage to look for a committed christian

This is very good, Crisi!

Yes the westerners can get background but it could be not 100% truth. A cousin of my close friend had an Irish. Her cousin was at first serious with him but later on he had a Filipino guy. She knew that the Irish loved her so much to the least of her expectation that they will end up breaking.

The guy was an investigator. He used to send large amounts of money and he visited the girl twice or thrice a year but just few days as the guy was busy with his work.

Until one day teh guy decided to come back again in the place of the girl. The girl was confused why the guy didn't confirm his visit and the guy planed to surprise the girl, he wanted to just pop out in the place of the girl. The guy said, I am not coming because there is an emergency here but the guy really came and went directly to the Barangay Hall asking the background of his gf. He was so shocked when he heard that his gf has also a Filipino bf of all the things that he had given to her, he didn't imagine that she could do that. he guy just simply vanish and stopped communicating the girl after that.

[crisipicada]

Do not be confuse when it comes to marriage. It needs a lot of prayers and guidance to choose the right person. First and foremost, be the right one. But how to be the right one? I just read today that pleasing someone is one way to get into failure. But pleasing God is one to get into success. In finding someone you to spend for a life time, better choose someone who has no baggage and of course single one. That is what my Pastor said. I am counting on his advice because it is good for me and for us young adult at church. He said, the Bible is clear about finding a partner. First, he must be committed christian, he must be sincere, mutual love for each other, let Love of God reign in both your hearts, blessing of the family, more prayers, not wealth but some financial security.

These are good advice of him, and I am listening to that. Because it is full of wisdom.