Sexual Experience

[CoolLuke]

Hi All,

Been a while since I logged in, but I do often check without logging in to see what's happening. I have communications going with someone that I think may lead somewhere. It is early days but so far so good, she is 33 years old and a delight in all of the ways possible.

I realize it is a touchy subject for the more devout Christians among you, so I would hope that I don't get a barrage of the standard, "not before marriage," knee-jerk reactions that are sometimes all too common here. I am hoping for a balanced and rational discussion of the Philippine status quo, if possible. I also realize that generalizations are a bad idea at the best of time, but some trends on the subject could help a lot in understanding the range of what I can expect.

Marrying a Virgin is NOT important to me, in fact this thread is about the exact opposite. My new friend, like so many other women on JadeRune is single and this got me thinking about sexual experience. I would like to marry someone who is not grabbing around in the dark, so to speak.

Most available women in the US, by the time they are 30, will have been married and divorced, maybe even a kid or two, which is also OK with me. That strongly suggest they have had sex many times and have developed some form of experience, or dare I say it, skills.

In a country (PI) that to this outsider, appears very involved in Religion, I am wondering what to expect from a 30+ single person in bed.

This is a broad-based start.

Thanks

C. Luke.

[Edwin]

From most people who are committed Christians you will get the, "Don't do it before marriage." I started out in the 1950s, young adult in the 1960s, young married adult in the 1970s, and so on. I started out in the beatnic erra, moved into the hippy erra, moved into a time when people moved in together without marriage, and with some that trend has reversed itself, and for others they are still into that life style. We all have our own ideas of right and wrong. For Christians the standard is the Bible and the teachings of Jesus, and God's laws.

I'm not sure what you can expect from a single 30 plus single woman from the Philippines in bed. I would think that she will have desires similar to any other human person. She will want love and respect, and she will give that to you also if you treat her right.

You probably read the warning on the jaderune.com opening page? Here in the USA people don't have to be concerned so much with what will happen if they commit adultery or fornication. In the Philippines if a husband presses charges of adultery, the person from the USA or other western country can expect a jail sentence of anywhere from 7 to 14 years in a Philippine's prison. Also I was surprised to realize that living, sleeping with an unmarried young lady, is cohabitation, and in the Philippines is considered to be criminal activity, with a possible prison sentence in a Philippine's prison.

I think when you marry someone there are no guarantees, and you are taking your chances, but with love and respect both individuals should have a wonderful life. Maybe you should talk with the lady about what she thinks about those things? I hope this all works out for you and the lady, and that both of your are happy in the end.

[HappyDave]

>> surprised to realize that living, sleeping with an unmarried young lady, is cohabitation,
>> and in the Philippines is considered to be criminal activity, with a possible prison sentence

Wow, that's not a very friendly approach. No separation between Church and State eh?

The adultery thing scares me a little as I see a lot of women with "Separated"in their JadeRune profiles. I am looking for an older woman, maybe 55+ so the chances of Separated is probably a little less risky than for younger women, but if I were you Luke, I would be taking notes on what Edwin has posted there.

I have visited several Asian prisons, (as a Journalist, not new resident ) and they are not nice places.

Dave

[Edwin]

Yes, Happy Dave & Luke, I got this information from this site by clickin on the large warning hot link. I was aware of the adultery possible charges in the Philippines, but I didn't realize that it could be 14 years in a Philippines' prison. Also I was not aware that cohabitation with an unmarried female in the Philippines was considered criminal activity with a possible Philippines' prison sentence. The reason for this warning is to give protection to jaderune.com male customers, so that they wouldn't inadvertently commit crimes in the Philippines with such severe consequences. We are told that this warning is given because there are many profiles listed with young ladies listed as being separated, but that does not make it safe for lthe young man if he has sex with one of them. Some list themselves as separated when they are legally still married and they have a husband running around, and if they have sex with one of them, and a husband presses charges, they either must pay off the husband with a huge amount of money, or they stand a good chance of ending up in Prison for a long time. So in the Philippines it is not safe to have sex with any female without the sanction of married, whether it is with a married woman, or with a single young lady.

[jadegil6]

My understanding is that if the woman is legally separated, then having sex with her or living with her is not considered adultery. And this law is rarely enforced, BUT....BUT it can happen, so a man should be aware of that possibility. The thing is, many filipino men are maried and have multiple girlfriends, so they commit adultery often, but few of them would ever be charged under this law. Why? Because they are filipinos. But a foreigner is a target because everyone knows that all foreigners are filthy rich. lol So if it isn't the estranged husband wanting a payoff, it is the police.

[HappyDave]

Yup, having lived and worked in various Asian countries over the years, for the foreigner, it is all pretty much a pay whoever you piss off system.

Some years back I was in Penang and out for an early morning walk before it got too hot and humid, probably around 6:00am. There was a cop in uniform waiting for the money changer to open. He was counting a bunch of US dollars. Not suggesting they were obtained by any means other then fair, but it was an incongruous scene.

[abufarsi]

You should expect the same thing as you would expect from a woman of any age, that she will respond to you in a loving way. Lack of sexual experience can exist even with a woman who has had a relationship before as she only knows how to respond to others not you.

[crisipicada]

Last Sunday, December 18, I went to my mother church in Lumbo. I have been praying to help me grow in my spiritual life and to guide me with wisdom from above and those who really preach against sin.

I was so surprise that my teacher during Sunday school was my discipler who went to Indiana, USA to study music and wow she graduated cum laude. She just married last year after a thorough prayers and ask guidance from mature christian at age 32.

Our topic was about finding a right partner in life. In the beginning, we have pre - exam and answer whether true or false. Unfortunately, all answers were false and got 7/10. Sad about it.

She shares some experience in America. I was so surprise that some of the woman or american woman in america at age 12, not a virgin anymore. The last one that i read, at 16, 75% of american woman are not virgin, but i was totally feel bad that at age 12 they are no longer virgin.

For me, Christianity is not really a religion, it is a lifestyle. Someone claim they are christian, but actually no more conviction against sin specially morality. She said, never rely on our own heart and understanding because it will always lead us to distraction. And yes I do believe. She added, God did not said that this woman or man will be your life time partner but actually God gave us the principles to guide us to find the right man for us, that is the Biblical principles He has given us. That is why, do not forsake the word of God (Book of Proverbs). If you marry because of sex, then remember that life is not about sex at all. Sex is just part of a marriage life. God honors marriage and we christian must know that sex before marriage is totally a sin against God. In fact, if we continue sin, our inner life is in trouble, whether we admit it or not. It affects our whole system, that cause bad health, short life, bad relationship, shattered personality, and so on.

For me, it is better to refrain from sex before marriage. One reason is that I do not want to be inflicted with HIV virus and other sexual disease. NOt only that, one of the reason why Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed, because of sin. Sin of illicit sex.

[Edwin]

Crisi, you are so right with everything that you said. 12 years old is awfully young for a young lady to lose her virginity! Everything else you said is right on the mark. People do not take this serious enough, and yes it does cause all kinds of problems. A person may find forgiveness and will if they seek it from God, but they still have the scars, and there are still consequences for those actions. Yes, HIV virus and sexually transmitted diseases are a real concern.

[CoolLuke]

Thanks to everyone who replied. I will take good notice of the warnings. I am not sure how to handle things as I am not keen on marrying someone only to find they hate sex. I am not a person to jump straight into bed with a woman, and I do like to get to know them for at least a few weeks or months before that happens. But, it is a big leap of faith to marry someone wihout first having found if we are sexually compatible.

I am not into weird stuff, and I would not like to find out that my new bride had been dreaming of acting out her bondage fantasy from all of her single life. That would scare the crap out of me to wake up on the honeymoon all wrapped up in duct tape or something.