Forbidden Love

[Edwin]

I think that forbidden love is called forbidden for a reason. Prohibition is another term describing this. This is not allowed. Some, posting here have described it as lust rather than love. True love has a purity to it that doesn't exist with what we are talking about as forbidden love. I Corinthians 13: describes real love. Real love is not self seeking and is not boastful. Real love thinks of the other person first. Forbidden love is actually adultery or fornication. There is a heavy price to pay for forbidden love.

[red]

Some lovers said they feel love as in real love. And they don't care about hurting their spouses. They better be ready for living eternally in the lake of fire.

[Edwin]

This is just the thing, Red, some people don't mind hurting their spouses, if it will get a little illgotten pleasure for them. You are correct about the Lake of Fire, and the Bible tells us that a person who lives in sinful pleasure is dead while he/she lives. So, they are in trouble already, and they had better repent. I have heard it said also that someone is going to be unhappy, and it might as well be their spouse. People justify what they do also. They have lots of good reasons why it is okay. I have seen this in my own brother and sister. The person involved gets hurt. The spouse gets hurt. The children get hurt. The family gets hurt. All the relatives get hurt over it. When this happens everyone loses including the person involved outside the family, or you might say the marriage breaker. With my brother; he was drinking and not living right. I saw him with another lady once that I knew. I didn't have much respect for her, because she was a school teacher who did not support us with a daughter who needed guiding along the right path, and this woman took her the other way. Well, I know my brother's wife did not treat him right, but the way this all happened was not right either. Finally the woman he was hanging with told him, "It is either your wife, or me, and you decide." Even though his wife was not treating him right, I think she was a better person than the one he ended up with, and I'm sorry to have to say that. He has now lived with her a number of years longer than he lived with his first wife. I sometimes wonder what he thinks about it all now. It created big time problems for many years, and even yet I don't think everything is wonderful in his family because of that.

[crisipicada]

I notice that, during courting stage, it is so close or sweet times when the bf or gf treated their partners. They act as in caring, loving, sweet, kind, name it all attributes you want to have for a partner you want to have. But then later on when they get married, suddenly change, as in they do not try to respect their husband or wife. Can you make a good relationship during this time?

[Edwin]

Yes, Cris, you made a very good observation about all the caring, loving, sweet, and kind actions that take place before marriage, then after marriage it is actions without good feelings or even any respect. This is kind of related to finding no fault before the marriage, but being extremely critical after the marriage. People tend to see no faults before the marriage, but they see lots of them after the marriage. That is somewhat normal because 2 people get to know each other more after the marriage. They suddenly see things they didn't see before, and it makes them angry or disgruntled. True love would overlook those faults and try to works things out so that each person would not feel hard done by. True love, God's kind of love, would love anyway, inspite of the faults. Then an effort would be made to find happy solutions for troubles. An example of this is a young couple who is anxious to be together to take care of each other, which is noble, and then after a couple of years when problems start developing each of those persons involved get so they don't care at all about the welfare of the 2 people involved. Maybe after a time, when the honeymoon is over there is less "lovey dovey" stuff, but caring, concern, and just feelings for the other person's feelings, and real genuine love should still be there. We want the other person to be happy. We do not want them to be hurt, or to hurt. We want our other person to be safe and to feel loved. We want good things for the other person as well as good things for us. I know of couples who live in the same house, but live like they are single. I know of couples who live together and hate each other. When we marry someone they become our flesh, and we would not want bad for ourselves, so we want good for our other person.

Ephesians 5:28; "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29; For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 33; Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Love, respect, and reverence are still of utmost importance, and they are not outdated.

[red]

Some couples do change after years of marriage. I don't mean to boast here, me and my partner/husband still consistent and according to him the love just grown better. Yes, there were trials but it is normal to go through them makes the relationship grow stronger. I disciplined him though ha ha! he said he has changed for the better.. i like that line (and ya bet ya betcha ). Like i always thought prayer and working together for the best is great. Couple should be a team. But i am the team captain ha ha!

[Edwin]

Red, you are the team captain, huh? No danger of mutany? I'll bet your husband is glad to have you on his team, and even as his team captain. There is nothing wrong with that, and it may even make him feel more secure. You discipined him, and he changed for the better, and that is good too! Change is good as long as it is for the better! Prayer and working together is great! Troubles do come, and if you don't have enough troubles with each other, then someone else will give you some troubles. Carol and I still are having troubles from time to time. I think it is because of the way she is and the way I am, and we just can't get together on everything. We had a huge disagreement a few days ago! We kind of got it solved. I had to give more than I thought I should have. Being hurt I said some things I should not have, and I really hurt her in return, so I had to do some major repenting, and sorrowful, saying I am sorry for saying what I did, and hurting you so badly, even though what I said was true, and figured she had it coming. She was threatening to leave me, move out, and even get a divorce, but I was truly sorry, even though I thought she had it all coming. Well, she accepted that, we solved our differences, but the next day someone else did something to hurt her and I both much worse than what we had been through with each other. It was just the Lord that kept us from big time damage from this other person. It was probably one of the worst days of our lives, but we are past that and it is okay. We almost had to move even though we own the house in which we are living. The people who own the land, which are our kids, were ready to kick us out, make us move our house, 2 reefers, a travel trailer, all our vehicles, and it would have ruined us financially and in other ways. It would probably have killed my wife as I don't think she could have endured the stress. We have 2 identical twins who hate their younger sister, and we got caught in the middle. I did something to help the younger sister, and the 2 twins resented me for that, and the twin who lives closest to us here and owns the property decided to kick us out because of that feud between the younger sister and the 2 twins. But when our daughter was afraid that her mother might die as a result she backed down, and said that we could stay. Well, they still hate their younger sister, and they claim to be Christians, so I don't know where it will all end, but we are going to try harder to stay out of their troubles, and let them fight it out, because it is too hard on us to get caught in the middle and have the hatred directed towards us. Life is not fun sometimes, but we just have to trust in God to take care of things.

[red]

Hey, it would be boring if there is no fighting and arguing..ha ha ha! Like there is a friend of mine commented on me like: you know i think you are just looking for some fight i think you miss it sometimes, don't you? or maybe because he didn't make love to you last night" i just laughed at it. But the good thing after that is you kiss and make up. Me and my husband do argue sometimes but when it become so heat argument I usually just stop talking for a minute or so. Then talk again when both are cool and calm. I think relationships depends on how you take care of it and how you take care of your partner. And of course, let God be the center of your marriage.

[Edwin]

Yes, Red, stop talking or walking away is the best rather than having the argument get more and more heated. A guy my Dad worked with when I was a little boy, came to work with a black and swollen eye. The other guys asked him what happened, and he told them that his wife said shut up, and he thought she said stand up! Yes, life would probably get pretty boring alright with any aguing or fighting at all. The kissing and the making up is the best part huh, Red. The hotter the fighting the better the kissing, and making up, huh?

[red]

Ha ha! I rather keep it myself, wont post here how intense the kiss and make up part.