would it be possible for ex lovers to be friends?

[tess]

For me if I have unsuccessful relationship, even though I was really hurt by him I still want to be friend with that ex lover.. But I don't understand why he don't like it when we part ways for good and no bitterness..

[Tigger82d]

Yes it is possible, but not for everyone. Some people think that men and women can't just be friends, well I'm a 37 year old male and I have women that I'm just friends with. I could be friends with my ex but she's never nice to me unless she wants something, so I say why waste my breath. I tolerate her because of the kids and thats about it. To simply answer your question, Yes it is possible but you both must be willing to move on and bury the hatchet.

[tess]

yeah i thought too... but for me if i treat my ex nicely its not that i want something from him but also because he has been part of my life. and i wanna treasure that friendship.

[prettysweet]

i think it all depends how u parted ways with ur ex..

[Smiley]

To be too good of friends can be awkward when future relationships develop.
Ladies: How would you feel if your new boyfriend had a female "friend" that randomly showed up from time to time to be friendly. Now you find out that she and your bf had a physical and emotional involvement. Awkward at best.
I`m not saying that it can`t work, what I am saying is that you could be playing with fire.

[crisipicada]

Yes, of course it is possible to be friends. You know it takes time to heal the wound. Of course it is only time also can make you feel for him or her as friends because you have been more than friends.

My sister had a boyfriend for over 4 years. They become friends after they break up but it takes time when they become friends since it is awkward to see each other since they still have feelings for each other. They become friends since it wont work for them and the direction of their relationship is getting into wrong path.

Sometimes, relationships need to redirect because of wrong destinations. Being good friends is a good direction. Why? Because no stress, no worries how will you act or look since no pressure. You are also not pressure of time to be together since being friends is accepting who you are and nothing else.

But, I do believe that marriage should start with friendships. Why? It is because you will fully known the man or woman at this stage of relationship as friends. No hypocrisy, you can act what you want - angry, sad, worried, happy. And your friends are accepting and understanding you at the moment since they are your friends. While beyond friendship, there is a tendency that you cannot hold on when things go wrong. Sometimes, the other will give up on you and leave you. Better to develop friendship. Who knows, you fall in love with your friend. That is amazing love, then. True and pure!

[Edwin]

Yes, of course you need to be in love with the person you marry. I have heard that your husband or your wife should be your best friend, and I believe that. I think it is awkward at first for ex-lovers to be friends, but I think it is possible also, and a good thing, as long as it doesn't threaten a present relationship. My younger sister and ex husband were bitter enemies when they parted ways, but now they are good friends. But, it took many years of bitterness and hatred to come to that, but now they are there. Also my older brother and his first wife are better friends than ever before. She asked him questions visits with him and his second wife, and he speaks fondly of her, saying that she has no evil thought, and is just a good person. So many times after many years they do come around. Both of these are thrown in each other's company because of mutual children, and so they had no choice, but it was not always peaceful, but now it is for both of them.

[glemarie]

it's possible to be friend with ur ex,.but there's what we call "distance"or gap.

[Edwin]

Yes, I agree with you, glemarie, that you can be friends with your ex, and I have seen it work well, even in my brother and sister who were bitter enemies at one time with their ex, but they settled their differences and are now somewhat to good friends, but you are right that there can never be a closeness without causing problems. The problems will most likely be for the present person, although sometimes they can be complicated when children are involved. My younger sister almost got back together with her ex, and then she decided that he had not changed that much, and it would just be trouble. My older brother's first wife visits with him, as well as his present wife. They have had big time problems in the past with the kids not liking the present wife. My daughter was taking piano lessons from his first wife, and visiting with his present wife, and she had to find another piano teacher as the first wife pumped her for information about what was going on, and the present wife did the same, and it was just too uncomfortable for her. So I agree with you, glemarie, that they can be friends and should be friends, but closeness is not a good idea.

[DavidM]

I am completely with Smiley on this one. I'm sure that it might be possible in some theoretical situation, but even then what is the benefit? At best it is a reminder of what used to be, at worst it's a temptation to pull you back into the same situation you left, thinking it could be different this next time... if you start becoming too good of friends again. That's not at all bad if you are open to the possibility, but as a rule if they are to remain your ex they should stay away.